


Sweetest Kill

by Strange_fruuit



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Basically Rey is James Bond, Bodyguard Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Low key Ben is a bond girl, Mutual Pining, Politician Ben Solo, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, rey has baggage, reylo au, teenage street rat rey, the secret agent AU fic that no one asked for but here it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2019-11-23 08:51:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18149723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_fruuit/pseuds/Strange_fruuit
Summary: Somehow, all of the mercenaries and assassins she had fought in the past now seem like nothing compared to the task of protecting Ben Solo.He was her mission, and that was it- or so she tried to tell herself. Rey knew she wouldn't be a big enough fool to get close with her charge again, regardless of how she felt. Yet, avoiding temptation becomes harder when in close quarters.Not only was this unknown territory, but it was dangerous territory.Those dark eyes, those lips, and that voice were possibly more dangerous than anything Rey has faced before.





	1. Back in the Game

#  Sweetest Kill 

###  Chapter 1: Back in the Game 

###    


  
_12 Years Ago_  
  
The sharp pounding of her boots on the sidewalk shook her entire body as she flew down the street. The sidewalks were scarred and uneven in Jakku, run down just like the buildings. It was an urban junkyard, and the only place she had ever been able to call home.  
  
Sirens wailed from behind her, and the blue and red lights began to lick the walls beside her body as she desperately pumped her arms to move faster. The air was dry and scorched, the August heat still unbearable even during the night. Sweat rolled down her neck and back in beads, lips salty with exertion. Her duffle bag bumped against her hip, filled with the scarce belongings she owned and stacks of cash.  
  
Rey was nearly fourteen, and had just robbed the bodega on the corner.  
  
Jakku was not a small town, but a nasty one, the kind of place that makes you grow up fast. That, as well as being stuck with Unkar Plutt as a foster care parent. As if Jakku was not already difficult to survive, suffocated with street crime and drug lords, Plutt’s house was no more safer than being on the streets. In a stroke of validated yet short sighted panic after another violent night, Rey sought out the gun in Plutt’s closet. She ran away, straight into another fight at the store, stuffing all of the cash she could manage into her duffle.  
Enough to get herself a train ticket and finally leave.  
  
Although things never seem to go smoothly for Rey.  
  
As cops flooded in fast from behind her, desperation kicked in as the train station came within sight. The pale grey cement platform shone like a beacon, empty save for a few late night stragglers waiting for her getaway train. If she was lucky, and if it was timed just right, Rey could make it on the platform within the few minutes left for the train to board and escape without trace.  
  
Yet, Rey never has been lucky for the entirety of her life.  
  
She was in too deep, and maybe a part of her knew already that she wouldn’t make it.  
  
Perhaps a part of her, deep down, hoped she’d get caught.  
  
And maybe that was why she had run away at all.  
  
As the dull shriek of sirens started to come from the train station as well as from behind, she knew that it was over. No side streets near, the station still too far out of reach and swarming with cop cars. Rey still clutched Plutt’s gun in her hand, considered using it on the impending police. The potential penalties of opening fire on policemen jumble in her brain, quickly getting squashed from her deepening internal panic. She debated the odds of trying to scale the walls of the office building to her left, but decides against it. In these few moments, Rey had not realized she hesitated in her sprint, swaying in the empty night just in time for officers to jump out of their cars and surround her.  
  
“Drop the gun and put your hands up.”  
  
There were fifteen officers, circling her from all sides, and some more hanging back near the cop cars, positioned behind the open door of the driver’s seat. It took Rey a few moments to realize they all had their guns pointed at her.  
  
Of course, she knew she was capable, and that she had just robbed a cashier at gunpoint. If the cashier had been armed, Rey would not have hesitated to shoot. This wasn’t her first time stealing, for she had grown up scavenging food from bodegas to eat. Getting in fights with other kids, Tito and his gang of jerks was a common day to day occurrence that made her skin thick. This was all obvious to her, yet somehow she kept some dissonance from those implications. Never before had Rey truly considered herself dangerous. Now, with an entire squad of cops facing her down, it felt like a slap in the face to realize that she was.  
  
Plutt’s gun was dropped and clattered to the pavement before Rey processed that she had let go of it. The posture of some of the officer’s eased up, knowing that they had diffused the worst of the situation. As Rey shakily rose her hands to the air, one of the officers finally stepped forward. He had a harsh face, brows dark and furrowed as he rushed forward and patted her down, checking the baggy second hand cargo pants she wore for any other weapons. Looking to her for the first time, he faltered.  
  
“What the,” One of his hands rose to push the hood from her oversized sweatshirt down, finally revealing her face.  
  
Having anticipated a deadbeat teenage boy, a gang member, a homeless person, anything other than the bruised and battered teenage girl they saw in front of them, the man took a step back in either shock or revulsion, Rey couldn’t tell. He stared at her, mouth agape, as the other officers looked at her with evident surprise of their own.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Rey heard the loud thud of her body slamming against the matt before she felt it.  
  
Then, she felt it.  
  
A groan escaped her lips as she rolled onto her side, beginning to push herself up from the padded floor of the training room. Her muscles ached, but her brain was hardwired to push it down and lock the pain out.  
  
“You’re holding back.” Poe Dameron told her. A fellow agent, and the biggest metaphorical and literal pain in her ass, stood above her expectantly. Sometimes when they practiced like this in the mornings, Rey could still see the taunting yet playful fifteen year old from when they first arrived at the academy in Poe’s brown eyes. In moments like these, she hated it.  
  
Rey jumped up again despite her back screaming in protest.  
  
“Wouldn’t want to damage that pretty face of yours,” She replied dryly before spinning to land a kick to his side, beginning their sparing dance once more.  
  
The main floor of the gym was theirs for the morning, yet other agents casually moved around them to stretch and lift weights. This was one of many training rooms, specifically focused on combat. Yet through the labyrinth of hallways on the underground level that was the privately funded Skywalker syndicate, one would find much more than a basic gymnasium. Some rooms held isolation tanks, some labs for testing toxins, some with virtual reality and computer hacking. All of the potentially necessary conditioning agents could need for field work. Rey understood that even she did not know entirely what lay behind every door in their Coruscant headquarters, but she knew better than to try and figure it out.  
  
Poe took a swing with his right arm and she ducked the punch, crouching stealthily as the two friends circled each other like dogs in a cage. “The First Order has released another statement… ” He began, his eyes watching Rey carefully as they orbited. “They’re back on the street and they got plans.”  
  
Rey froze at that, blinking rapidly. In the moment of hesitation, Poe took the chance to land a hard kick to her side. The mention of the radical terrorist group struck a chord with her- one she knew Poe knew, and one that she certainly did not feel like discussing so early on a Monday of all days. She cursed, doubling back, trying to hide her shock, and worse, her fear.  
“That’s none of my business.” Her words came out of gritted teeth.  
  
“It is, actually. It’s literally our business.” While Poe was snarky, Rey was fast, and she slipped around him to deliver a swift jab to his stomach before jumping back. He let out a grunt, but the pain didn’t stop him from talking. “There’s a new case, and it’s a big one. Word is that the First Order’s involved.”  
  
Rey remained defensive in her physical stance as she rolled her hazel eyes. “What else is new?”  
  
“Kylo Ren.” Poe said, with a stupid grin on his face.  
  
“The politician?” Rey’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What about him?” The brief moment of surprise at the name landed her flat on her ass.  
  
“Don’t you ever read the news?” Poe laughed. “He’s running for congress.”  
  
She hissed in indignation and swung her leg back around, effectively knocking Poe on his ass beside her. “We both know it’s pointless to waste time paying attention to bureaucrats,” The disgust was evident in her voice, unsurprisingly so since Rey disliked most bureaucrats, and bureaucracy in general. She took the chance to dive onto Poe, sitting on his chest to keep him down. Smiling humorlessly as he wheezed from the full weight of her body, Rey’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Let me guess, Kylo Ren needs the wrong people to disappear from a testimony against the assets he’s invested in, which probably bought his entire political career.”  
  
“This time’s different,” Poe choked out, using all his core strength to shove Rey away, causing the pair to tumble around on the matt, scrambling to make a grab for the other like children wrestling. It could almost be comical, until one would realize they were trained killers and not children. “Ben Solo is his born name. Others may know him as Ben Organa.”  
  
Rey paused, stricken. “Organa? As in Leia Organa-”  
  
“-Is his mother.”  
  
“And Han-”  
  
“His father.”  
  
Poe had been right to call Rey out on not watching the news, because the truth was that she didn’t. It was difficult to stomach knowing most of the news was cover-up stories, or distractions from the truth happening in the corrupted underbelly of Coruscant. What was shown to be tragic fires was usually arson, usually committed by herself, assassinations disguised as casual shootings lost and dismissed amongst the weather reports. They had spent their whole lives either hunting down corrupted politicians, or doing the dirty work for the good guys that couldn’t do it themselves. She found it difficult to trust, let alone believe any politicians had good intentions.  
  
Rey found it easiest to keep her head down, mind her own business.  
  
Do her job without thinking too much.  
  
Discovering Leia Organa had a son was something quite different.  
  
Once the mother of one of the most radical political revolutions of the past century, Leia Organa stepped out decades prior as a figure looking to change corrupted bureaucracy and serve the people. She was extreme for her time, and managed to take down all of the city’s crime lords, most famously the Hutt mob family. She had taken the streets back for the people at a revolutionary pace, yet she faded from the forefront of headlines as politicians began to appear more left towards her ideals to calm the discontent public. As the case with most politicians, this was simply making face instead of executing or truly putting Leia Organa’s ideals in practice. This was when Luke Skywalker, Leia’s twin brother (and Rey’s boss), decided to found Skywalker Syndicate to make change and protect against the corruption.  
  
Albeit through secret missions and field agents, such as herself, trained to be nameless fighters in the political espionage crusade. The public did not know about them and frankly, did not need to. They do what must be done, and what no one else wants to do or acknowledge.  
  
“He goes by the pseudonym for protection, and also to make running on a voting platform easier and more discreet than being the born heir to a revolutionary movement.” Poe added as he sat up on his knees, resting as he put his hands on his hips as he watched Rey work it out in her head. Even she stopped their fight momentarily, sitting back to consider this new information.  
  
Rey had heard of Kylo Ren- although never bothered to watch the news or read the papers to actually know what he looks like. From what she understood of the man, he was relentless, harsh, and passionate to help the public and make changes to the system. He was progressive, and had the willpower necessary to change things. The public seemed to like his intensity, because it vastly differed from most Coruscant politicians who were spineless and bent to bribery and secret deals. It made sense for someone of his views to have come from the Organa family line. Her instinct told her to be distrustful of any politician, but knowing that Leia Organa had a son definitely threw her.  
  
Knowing that Han had a son.  
  
Yet, it tugged on her brain that Luke had never once mentioned a nephew.  
  
“I still don’t see where we come in.” She said finally.  
  
“He’s receiving death threats, and was assaulted last week by a trained mercenary. They’ve kept it hidden from the news headlines for now, but rumor has it certain people figured out his lineage. Luke thinks the First Order’s behind it and wants to take him out. The platform he’s running on promises to crack down on crime and domestic terrorism.” Then, a trademark Dameron grin was flashed and made her skin crawl to know what was coming next. “Luke wants you in.”  
  
Rey’s blood ran cold at the First Order coming into the conversation once more, and as she pieced it all together she fought to stay calm. It had been nearly a year since the First Order had been active- she would know- and the brief period of peace was almost convincing enough to believe they were gone for good. Now, it was happening all over again. Rey was pleading with herself, as if that could change anything.  
  
_Not again, not again._  
  
“I’m not an undercover agent,” She grit her teeth as she kicked her leg into Poe’s stomach mercilessly. “He can send Finn in.”  
  
“It isn’t just an undercover job,” Poe grunted and lunged, tackling Rey. Within seconds he had her in a headlock, their fight continuing once again. “It’s a job for the best agent here.”  
  
Rey struggled against his arm, trying to wiggle her body from his grasp, yet using her bare strength seemed futile. Poe was not too much larger than her, but much more broad-set, while Rey was entirely taut and limber muscle.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She huffed out in annoyance, pushing her legs to force Poe to roll onto his back. One of her hands tugged at the crook of his arm as it circled her neck, and the other reached back to grab a fistful of his dark curly hair and yank. Poe yelped.  
  
“You’re full of shit,” He grunted, trying to tighten his grip as she pushed harder against his arm’s resolve. “Come on, Rey. You’re trained for this. You can’t keep beating yourself up over what happened last time… you’ve been benching yourself for almost a year now, it’s time to get back in the game.”  
  
Rey bristled at him bringing it up so openly, and bit down hard on his arm around her neck. Poe yelled, quickly releasing her. She got up from the floor, huffing from exhaustion and looked down at her best friend. Memories rushed back to her, ones that she had spent so much time trying to lock away. The warehouse, the explosion, the body bags. Muttering to herself in frustration, Rey shut her eyes to try and carefully push it all down and bury them, opening her eyes once more to focus on her Poe’s playful gaze.  
  
“I’m not going back into the field again.”  
  
“What, and you’re happy doing paperwork for the rest of your life? Sitting in a cubicle? I know you were cleared by Holdo on your psych evaluation four months ago. Luke knows it, too.” The two of them were silent then, and Poe got up from the floor, crossing his arms across his broad chest as if to lecture. “You’re ready, you’re just scared.”  
  
Rey stared at him, saying nothing. There were many things she wanted to say, to tell him how he didn’t understand, how he wasn’t there last time, how he hasn’t seen what she’s seen. Instead she ignored him and walked over to the side of the mat where she left her towel and water bottle, pushing all of her thoughts down. Knowing he was slowly trailing behind her, not letting her escape so easily without a response, Rey eventually sighed.  
  
She mumbled back. “Tell him I’ll consider it.”  
  
A stupid smile was plastered on his handsome face.  
  
“Well, that’s the thing.” Poe’s grin grew wider. “Luke’s made up his mind, and it’s me, you, and Finn on the case. You either agree with enthusiasm, or you still have to agree.”  
  
Water dribbled down Rey’s chin as she balked, coughing and sputtering a little as her backwash sprayed onto the gym matt. Poe laughed then, and if Rey wasn’t in such an undignified position she would have punched the smile off his face.  
  
“Come on, let’s get lunch.”  
  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Rey knew it was childish to take out her frustration on her best friends, but when Finn and Rose met them for lunch, she hardly spoke a word when they started discussing the mission. It was clear that everyone had been filled in except for her, and it was obvious that they had purposely kept it from her until now. Although she couldn’t blame them- the secrecy was Luke’s doing and they were just following orders.  
  
They met at the little diner across the street from headquarters, and Rey had not hesitated to order the largest breakfast combo with pancakes on the side. Grumbling to herself, she took turns between stuffing hash browns and omelette into her face. She ate fast- old habits die hard. Somehow after years of being assimilated into adult life, Rey still couldn’t shake the starving child she once was. Their waitress peered at her in visible distaste as she poured them more coffee.  
  
“You know, we hardly worked out today considering how you went easy on me.” Poe commented with raised eyebrows as he took a sip of his coffee.  
  
“Listening to you talk is a workout in itself.” Rey’s voice was muffled between helpings of pancakes.  
  
Poe made a cat noise in the back of his throat. Usually, Finn had no problem jumping into the banter and teasing the two of them more than they could manage to tease each other. Yet as Finn watched how unhappy Rey was about the mention of the mission, his brow creased as she mercilessly pummeled her food. “You okay, peanut?”  
  
“She’s stuffy because Luke put her on the case.”  
  
“Hey, we’ll be there with you, too. It won’t be so bad.” Rose said hopefully, watching Rey carefully as if trying to gauge the best way to comfort her friend. “It should be a quick case, nothing too serious.” It was an innocent enough comment, but they all knew what it was really alluding to. Rey’s last mission, the one where the First Order first made a name for themselves, the one that put her out of commision for the past year.  
  
The mission that made sure she paid for her mistakes.  
  
Rey wanted to tell her, _last time everyone thought it wasn’t serious, either,_ but she kept her mouth shut and looked away.  
  
Rey knew Rose was right, things could certainly be worse. She could have been assigned to the case alone, but she was lucky to have them with her. Yet, knowing this didn’t stop her from feeling ill as they discussed logistics. Finn, Poe, and herself would be meeting with Luke tomorrow morning about details, yet they knew the general drill.  
  
Rose didn’t work the field, but helped run headquarters with other agents such as herself trained in criminology and forensic science. She would be working directly with the field agents surveilling and investigating the case from base. Finn was an undercover agent, and would be posing as a Coruscant socialite to gain information from the circles Kylo Ren navigated, who would be wired back to Rose at headquarters. Rey and Poe’s roles were a bit more complicated. They were on the case- or, in other words, the muscle that would act on the information gathered and mobilize where the threat is coming from. Yet they were also defense, and responsible for protecting him at all costs.  
  
They would take turns doing both, yet it seemed it was widely understood that Rey would be Solo’s close bodyguard, watching him at all times, spending most days and nights with him. She wanted to try and argue this with Luke later, that she would not spend so much time being close with her charge- not ever again- but it made the most sense.  
  
A young politician spending so much of his time with a woman close to his age would not seem suspicious in any way to the outside world. While Rey seemed like a young, unsuspecting women to most- Poe would come off more obviously as a bodyguard. Their job was to be is discrete and efficient as possible for campaign publicity reasons. The odds of her convincing Luke to take her off the case were incredibly slim, but nonetheless, she prepared herself to try.  
  
Her friends chatted about this as they finished their break, and Rey continued to offer nothing more than a grunt between bites of food. She was beyond full- yet she kept eating. Once the plate was empty, she sat quietly, not making eye contact with any of them, focusing on her hands in her lap.  
  
Finn was visibly distressed knowing that Rey was upset, but he did not press her about it- though she knew he’d try to talk to her one on one later. Finn had treated her much differently than the others this past year, probably because he was apart of the rescue mission that saved her ass.  
  
He had been there when they pulled her out of the warehouse.  
  
Even though he hardly questioned her about what had happened or pressed her to talk about it, ever since then  
he was incredibly protective of her.  
  
While it made her feel worse, Rey knew she just couldn’t stomach talking to anyone about what was truly bothering her, even Finn. Her stomach churned, anxiety spreading from her core to her fingertips. It kept festering and growing, like an angry beast locked away within her core, rattling at its cage to be let out. The more the others talked about the case, the harder it was to keep the memories pushed down.  
  
When Rose cracked a joke about the Organa line and Kylo Ren being single, Rey abruptly stood up, effectively halting the conversation. She pulled a crinkled twenty out of her pocket, and put it down on the table before grabbing her bag and walking from the diner.  
  
From behind her, Finn called her name. Then after, Poe’s gentle words to comfort him, having suspected Rey was already out of earshot.  
  
“Let her go. She needs time.” 

  



	2. Sweet With Intent

  


#  Sweetest Kill 

  
  


###  Chapter 2: Sweet With Intent 

  
  
If Rey actually owned any personal belongings, she would be spending her time packing them. However, her personal inventory included a small selection of practical clothes and custom weapons, all of which could be stuffed within a duffle bag last minute. It was trained in her so early to not keep any attachments- not emotional ones- that it only made sense to avoid material possessions or sentimental objects as well.  
  
Her dread had grown tenfold as she took the subway back to her neighborhood after work, panic bubbling to her usually composed surface. Walking three blocks to her apartment felt like being underwater, and Rey was drowning in it all. Things felt fuzzy as she walked up the stairs, unlocking her door with her keys and finally getting inside.  
  
The apartment was old, and could have had the potential to be a comfortable home. But instead it felt hollow- mostly because it was hardly lived in. Walls where photographs or artwork should hang were bare, the bedroom empty save for a twin sized bed and a desk. The kitchen was dismal with only a single oven mitt and a coffee maker. Rey’s fridge was almost always empty, and even though the academy took good care of her, she never quite got used to the task of buying groceries. Even though years had passed since when she was struggling, she still found herself in the habit of living meal by meal. She never committing to cooking, usually buying takeout or eating frozen dinners.  
  
Tonight was no different.  
  
Rey tiredly heated up a can of soup in the microwave, watching bubbles form at the rim of the bowl as it spun slowly. She stared until the two minutes was up, blinking for a moment before moving to take the bowl and go to her desk. Going to her computer felt instinctual, yet opening a browser to google what she’s been trying to ignore for the past year felt surreal.  
  
Poe had been right, the First Order had released a new statement last week, the same day Kylo Ren had been assaulted. She browsed every Coruscant news site and watched as reporter’s recounted the anonymous message with stoic faces. It was just as it was before- entirely righteous and theological preaching. Telling everyone that this city was scum and ruled by scum, and how they were going to set a new order in place to wipe out all of the undesirables and corrupt bureaucrats. That their way was the only way, and how anyone who denied it would face consequence.  
  
A load of God-complex lunatics believing they have the divine right to rule.  
  
Rey listened to every single news anchor reading the statement and every youtube video, her stomach twisting as she heard their words. She’d hoped for so long she’d never have to face them again, that maybe they had disbanded from internal turmoil. It was a cruel stroke of fate that of course they had been laying in wait until now. That of all people it was the son of Leia Organa they’d be targeting, and that the last man of the Solo family would be placed under her protection for the second time.  
  
Her hands moved on their own accord as Rey typed out his name in the search engine, Kylo Ren. For a brief moment she looked without seeing, until focusing in on the picture accompanying an article about his campaign. A sharp, long face with long raven dark hair. A striking man and a tailored suit, imposing and handsome. Rey sucked in a breath as she stared at the screen, at the gaze staring back at her- those dark, brown eyes. He undoubtedly resembled his mother, but that gaze, the slight smirk in his lips was entirely Han.  
  
The mere sight of it made it all come back.  
  
The annual charity ball, where all of the city’s most influential politicians and socialites were present. No one anticipated veteran Han Solo to be a target of the First Order, so most of the available agents were assigned to protect Leia and were accompanying her overseas. Rey had been assigned to the case alone, and was sticking to corners and posing as a waitress. Han had made conversation with the other guests, while turning back to her to wink and make pained expressions at the frivolous chit chat. She had giggled at the goofy older man then, who in a few mere months had become somewhat of a father to her- or what she’d imagined a father would be. Although at the time she would have been too embarrassed to ever admit it to him, Rey now wished she could have told him while she still could.  
  
_Before his eyes were dead and empty, looking at her as she was paralyzed… ___  
  
Rey forced her brain to halt, rubbing her palms into her eyes as she willed herself to pull it together. One by one, she took all of the memories- the charity ball, the First Order, the gun shots, the warehouse, and pushed it down. She imagined the sounds and images, and millions of bricks moving to build a wall to enclose them. This kept going until there was a tall tower in the back of her mind, holding back everything she could not face.  
  
Even after she shut her laptop closed, she still saw Kylo Ren’s gaze. Sleep did not come that night as Rey laid in bed quietly, staring at the ceiling and counting down the hours before morning. She would have to tell Luke that it wasn’t possible. She couldn’t protect the last Solo, that she couldn’t be so close to the son of the family that she failed.  
As she prepared a speech in her head for her boss, it felt like those brown eyes from that photograph were somehow present in the room.  
  
Heavy and sweet with intent, haunting her.  
  
Slipping beneath her skin.  
  
______________________________________________________________________________________  
  
When Rey’s alarm went off at six in the morning, she was already awake. She had been awake for hours before then- twelve to be exact.  
Those eyes- that stare from the photograph- were still seared in her brain. As she got up quickly, changing her clothes and making a cup of coffee, she prayed that she wouldn’t have to face those eyes today, or ever for that matter. She cringed when she caught her reflection in the mirror, bloodshot eyes and paler than usual. Pulling her hair back into three buns, she splashed water on her face in a lame effort. The speech she was prepared to give Luke was all set up in her head, and as she forced herself to repeat it over and over, the subway ride and walk to headquarters was a blur.  
  
Rey hardly noticed her friends waiting outside for her.  
  
“Rey!” Finn called out, waving to her. He peered at her questioningly as she came closer, having been pulled out of a haze. “I tried calling you last night but you didn’t answer, you got me worried.”  
  
Rey hadn’t even looked at her phone since yesterday morning, and had almost forgotten she had it in her pocket at all. “Ah,” She rubbed her eyes and lied. “I’m sorry, Finn. I was asleep.” Finn gazed at her, and it was obvious from his eyes that he knew it wasn’t the truth. For now, though, it seemed good enough for him, and he smiled and gently put an arm around her shoulder as they all walked into the building.  
  
While Skywalker Syndicate was an underground operation, the first, second, and ground floor of their building downtown posed as a newspaper agency to the outside world. As they walked through the main glass doors, other agents rushed around with paperwork and files, all appearing like standard nine to five employees. Technically- they were. All of the field agents called them housekeeping, or the people that handle the Skywalker Syndicate’s relationship with the public, or the media. Meaning, they cover up everything and leave no trace while hiding in plain sight.  
  
The only real difference from housekeeping from a standard newspaper agency was that most newspaper agencies don’t have an entire security system that would lockdown the entire building mere seconds after being compromised.  
  
That, and most journalists don’t have advanced weaponry strapped under their desks.  
  
Getting to the underground facilities of Skywalker Syndicate required going by multiple security checkpoints. As they passed through housekeeping and made a few turns throughout the labyrinth of the office, eventually they got to the first checkpoint, a steel door within a janitor’s closet, where they did fingerprint scanning on a small pad on the wall. After a serious of steel doors opening as they did their complete security checks, they got to a set of elevators leading to the underground levels.  
  
Rey felt her heart beginning to beat faster as their group got inside the steel box leading to level 10, Luke’s office. Rose had waved goodbye as she went to walk towards the other set of elevators leading to their intelligence unit on level 5, no doubt going to the base to debrief the case with her group. Watching the dial above the elevator doors slowly ascend level by level felt like an eternity, and as Finn and Poe chatted beside her Rey worked to steady her breathing. Her progress at composure disappeared once the doors opened, revealing her boss’s slick and sterile office.  
  
The walls were reinforced steel, the floor cold concrete. Having been expecting them, Luke was sitting behind his desk, eyes already piercing through her. He was calm, his deep blue suit contrasting his long graying hair and withered beard.  
  
“Agents, take a seat.” All business.  
  
Rey felt herself deflate at Luke's dry professionalism, all remnants of her angry speech dissolving as they walked towards his desk. She could tell Poe and Finn were eyeing each other at her visible misery, the three agents sitting down quietly. She sat in the middle between them, directly across from Luke, immediately crossing her arms and choosing a spot on the floor to stare at as he began speaking.  
  
“I’m sure you already know why I summoned you here. Our agenda is clear; protect Kylo Ren and get to the bottom of who or what has been making threats and attempts on his life. We have a few leads thanks to Rose and her team, and you are to start immediately. Finn, you will receive a debriefing and schedule soon of events and conferences you will be attending undercover. Rey, Poe, you will report to the Hotel Kanata where we have a confidant keeping Kylo’s presence secret for the time being. Security posts have been set up throughout the entire building, and you will make sure those agents are in check. You will take turns guarding and going into the field for the case, Rey will close guard and Poe will far guard. Rey, you will be with Kylo in any and every public appearance or event. Understood?”  
  
Poe and Finn nodded, “Yes sir.”  
  
Rey said nothing, refusing to look up despite knowing Luke’s cool blue eyes were boring into her. She wanted to argue, to beg, to scream, to refuse. She wanted to throw her chair or flip his desk. She wanted to curl up into a ball and melt into the floor. All of these options surged through her chest, her heart hammering in anger and grief as she did nothing.  
“Poe, you will be following our first lead on the attacker immediately. Rey, you will go to the hotel and get accomodated. You are dismissed.”  
  
Poe and Finn stood up at the order, turning to head for the elevator door. Rey shot up from her seat, ready to turn her back on Luke before he spoke again.  
  
“Rey, stay behind.”  
  
Poe and Finn shoot her looks as she said continued to remain silent. Backing up slowly, Rey sat back down in the chair she desperately wanted to escape from. Looking down at her hands in her lap in frustration, she rotated between staring at her palms and the floor. Once the elevator door slid closed and Poe and Finn were out of earshot, Luke sighed.  
  
“Rey, I know you’re upset-”  
  
“-You hid the case from me. Everyone else was informed but me.”  
  
“Because I knew you’d fight me on it, and didn’t want you to waste your breath.”  
  
“Why? Why me?” Luke seemed surprised when she looked up sharply, at the coldness of her tone.  
  
“I would hope that was obvious.”  
  
“You could send any agent in. Jessika, Connix, any of the others. Poe is trained enough to protect him alone.”  
  
“Rey-”  
  
“I don’t understand,” She could feel tears pricking in her eyes, but she blinked them away furiously. The posh office was starting to blur, along with Luke’s gaze. “Is this a punishment for something I did? What did I do?”  
  
“You haven’t done anything and this isn’t supposed to be a punishment.” Luke stopped her short from holding up a hand. “This isn’t about capability, although I do think you sell yourself short thinking anyone could fill your shoes. This is about trust.”  
  
Rey blinked, looking to Luke in confusion.  
  
“This isn’t just a client, Rey. It’s my nephew. This mission is personal.” He continued, folding his hands together and leaning over his desk towards her. “I know all of my agents are capable, but I trust you the most. I know you’ll keep Ben safe and I’ll be able to sleep better knowing you’re calling the shots. Leia agrees.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“I know what you’re thinking. But what happened last time was not your fault… Han’s death is not your fault. We were lucky we didn’t lose you that night, too.”  
  
Rey’s mouth snapped shut, and she suddenly felt cramped in the huge office space. They were silent for a few minutes, or perhaps it was mere moments? She could not tell anymore. Finally, Rey spoke, desperate to quell the tightening feeling in her chest. She meant her words to sound challenging, imposing- but under Luke’s stern expression they sounded small.  
“Why didn’t you tell me you had a nephew? Why didn’t Han...”  
  
Rey tried to finish the sentence but stopped, surprised by the hurt she felt in her chest. How was it that only now anyone mentioned Han and Leia had a son? Luke’s serious mask broke for just a moment- eyes flickered with something she had never seen before- guilt? Regret? It was gone in an instant, buried back under the distance he always kept, and he sighed heavily before rubbing his chin.  
  
“Ben and I have a complicated relationship, and his relationship with Han is… was… strained...” Luke said carefully. It seemed like he was considering what he wanted to say about them, before eventually settling for revealing nothing. “He’s already unhappy about the situation. It’s best for everyone if me and him do not interact throughout this operation.”  
  
“I’d be pretty unhappy if terrorists were trying to kill me, too.”  
  
One of Luke’s eyebrows quirked up, and a smile almost ghosted his lips. It seemed to be a magic trick only Rey could manage to get him to do. “Rey, Ben is…” Luke paused, and sighed. “Ben doesn’t play too well with others.”  
  
“Neither do I.”  
  
“I know,” Luke rolled his eyes. “But you should know he can be-”  
  
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not going in there to be his friend. I can take care of myself and keep my distance.” Rey paused in thought. “Well, you know. Figurative distance. Obviously I’ll be physically close to him all the time,” She stopped herself then, hoping her blushing wasn’t too obvious. “For protection, obviously.”  
  
“What I mean to say is that he doesn’t keep himself close to many people. He distances himself from his own family. He may have difficulty… getting used to your presence. If he gives you trouble, I want you to tell me.” Luke regarded her seriously, enough for Rey to not jab back with a witty comment.  
  
Instead, she stood up from her chair, nodding to her boss as she started to walk towards the elevator, still thinking of the photograph from the article. Kylo Ren’s face had not yet left her mind, and now it seems it won’t be leaving her sight at all any time soon.  
  
Rey wasn’t sure if she was responding to Luke or trying to convince herself when she spoke. “I think I can handle it.”  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Kanata’s was in the east side of the city in the small village of Takodana, an ancient hotel tucked away from the hectic center of Coruscant. The streets were more quiet here, a comfortable pocket of the city where the elite lived in luxury condos in peace while still being a quick metro ride away from work.  
  
The hotel itself was decadent and warm, the dated stone and architecture of the five story hotel reminiscent of another time. Being one of a handful of buildings still preserved as a historical part of the city, it was a good place to hide. It was a bit too odd with quirks to have the high traffic of socialites and celebrities like many of the other hotels in the city. Kanata’s lacked the sleek and sterile poshness of the new Coruscant being built by young professionals, but it made up for this with its unmistakable charm and character.  
  
The address for the lead Poe had to follow up on was south of the hotel, and so he flippantly dragged Rey with him into one of the many Syndicate owned cars to give her a ride. Even though traffic was miserable this time of day through center city, Rey knew Poe just wanted to check up on her, shooting glances at her as they sat in silence.  
  
Her resolve almost broke when they pulled up in front of Kanata’s.  
  
Almost.  
  
“Have a good first day of school!” Poe called to her through the window. “Make good choices!”  
  
As Rey slunk away to the hotel's doors with her small duffle thumping against her side, she grumbled as she caught sight of his pearly grin before driving away.  
  
While Rey’s stomach churned with anxiety, trying to run through all of the possible things he could say to her, or worse, that she could say to him, her fateful meeting with Ben Solo was delayed further. The first order of business at the hotel was meeting with their informant, a kook named Maz that regarded Rey with immense curiosity. Her large eyes magnified by circle spectacles were unsettling to say the least, and the old woman smiled at Rey like she understood a secret she wasn’t aware of. It took nearly an hour to slip away from Maz, which only led Rey to her next task of checking in with the other agents stationed in the building.  
  
Finally, after making sure everyone was at their assigned post, Rey forced her feet to the elevator leading to the seventh floor. Her whole body felt like lead, heavy and suffering, begging for her to stop and lay down. Yet something within her persisted, onward until she was in front of the new door of her temporary home.  
  
She tried to train her face to be as composed and passive as possible, to quiet the tumultuous riot deep in her core. The door stared back at her, taunting, almost dangerous, as if challenging her to take the next step. Rey knew there was no going back now, no way to walk away from this moment, and she held her breath as she reached for the doorknob.  
  
Unsurprisingly, the accommodations for the white knight of Coruscant were no short of luxurious. The carpet was plush, the walls adorned with paintings that probably cost more money than Rey would ever own. The room reserved for them was quirky like the rest of Kanata’s, but a large enough suite to take up a large portion of the entire floor. This was a relief, Rey knew, because even if she had to live in such proximity with this man, she could easily find privacy.  
  
Upon entering, Rey became immediately aware of voices coming from another room. One incredibly deep baritone, and another- female- one she recognized. They were arguing.  
  
“You know this is the safest option-”  
  
“I can take care of myself!” The deep voice thundered. “I’ve taken care of myself for a long time without anyone’s help…”  
  
Rey faced a narrow hallway, and as she quietly padded down towards the voices, it led her past a kitchen and into a large lounge. They hadn’t noticed she had come in, and years of training made her footfalls silent and hidden. Leia Organa looked exactly as Rey remembered- regal, and surprisingly imposing despite her small stature. She looked up at her son in exasperation, hands on her hips in a way that she’d only act in private. If it was not a sensitive conversation, it would have been amusing to see the infamous freedom fighter in such a state.  
And _him _… Rey hardly had words to describe _him. _____  
  
The man held himself like royalty in the same way Leia did, just as much of a dominant personality as her. While many would come off as heinous or rude in doing so, something about the way he stood tall only made it endearing. While he was obviously angry, there was an intensity that showed he was merely containing the storm surge within. That what he was displaying now, with his jaw clenched tight and his eyes sharp as blades, was merciful compared to what he was evidently capable of.  
  
It made Rey’s stomach flip.  
  
“Ben, please- if this is about Luke-”  
  
“I don’t need a babysitter-”  
  
They still hadn’t noticed her standing only a few feet away, and Rey awkwardly dropped her duffle bag to the floor with a soft thud. “Babysitter’s here.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben-consistently-terrible-at-making-first-impressions-Solo is here!


	3. Bend and Not Break

  


# Sweetest Kill

  
  
_17 Years Ago_  
  
It was April, and rain had finally thawed the snow and slush to a thick mud. The Jakku elementary differed from many other schools. Without grass fields, without a playground, the children instead had a large cement block with a handful of decrepit basketball hoops. While Jakku elementary was in an urban jungle far removed by the cleanliness of suburbia, school children remained the same. Small, imaginative, and cruel. Each child stood off in different groups of friends on the empty pavement, playing games of telephone and never have I ever, all except one.  
  
Rey was nine years old, and almost done with the third grade.  
  
Of course, this had been her first year at Jakku’s elementary, her first year living in Jakku at all. She spent a lot of time trying to remember what happened before she came here, but everything was fuzzy and unclear. It got more and more difficult to remember the faces of her parents as the days went by, and a frustrated young Rey just told herself how they’d come back and it didn’t matter for now.  
  
Rey was alone most of the time, but she found this was most comfortable.  
  
Most of the kids discussed things she did not know of- shows from the television, or a store at the mall. Unkar Plutt hardly let her go anywhere that took her away from her house duties, let alone let her watch cable. She found it difficult to keep up with their conversation, and they seemed quite confused when Rey would ask them what their houses were like, how many channels there were. The other kids thought she talked funny, thought her clothes were wrong for being ill-fitted and so worn.  
  
They didn’t want to talk to her much. Rey refused to let the rejection of fellow school children sting, because she was convinced her parents would be back eventually. Everything will be fine then, once they arrived for her, and they’ll be all she needs.  
  
The bell rang, signaling the children to come back inside for their afternoon class. As the crowds started walking in groups towards the set of doors back inside, Rey felt a hard shove from behind her.  
  
Stumbling forward, she broke her fall by thrusting her arms out, hands sinking down into a thick patch of mud. Her knee caught on a rock, ripping a hole in her only pair of jeans.  
  
“Freak,” The loathsome voice of Tito came from behind, one of the other foster children apart of Plutt’s house resembling somewhat of a hyena. His parents had died in a car accident a year ago, and it seemed the easiest way for him to cope with his grief was through tormenting Rey to oblivion. His weekly, sometimes daily, cruelty had become a common occurrence in Rey’s brief childhood.  
  
Rey sat back on her knees, trying to wipe the mud from her hands away on the grass. She inspected the hole in her jeans in dismay with tears brimming in her eyes, knowing full well that Plutt would not buy her another pair for another year.  
  
“Don’t you talk?” Tito taunted her from above. “Freak, don’t you talk?”  
  
“Go away!” Rey yelled, standing up clumsily. She was smaller than Tito, but pushed her shoulders back to seem taller. Other kids stopped to watch now, whispering amongst each other but not willing to interfere. A few boys giggled and pointed at Rey, who was now completely covered in mud.  
  
From behind her she heard a girl whisper, “Now we’ll know if she really washes her clothes...” Rey felt her cheeks burn red with humiliation, trying to ignore the comments and laughter.  
  
“You know at least my parents wanted me.” Tito said.  
  
“Shut up,” Rey said through gritted teeth.  
  
“Your parents left because they didn’t want you…” He was circling her now as if trying to corner an animal.  
  
“Shut up!”  
  
“You probably embarrassed them like the freak you are, and they left you-”  
  
Something within Rey snapped, and for a brief, brief moment, her mind was as clear as any other child’s would be. As she lunged forward, the other kids screamed as Rey tackled Tito to the ground. Using his body to break the fall, Rey didn’t hesitate to swing her arm back and punch him square in the jaw. Tito was yelling but she hardly heard him, not over the sound of her heart thumping wildly in her ears. He was scrambling with his thin boyish arms to push Rey off, but she was possessed with something he could not match. A force to be reckoned with. The other kids yelled for her to stop, began running off, but she kept on swinging.  
  
Even as Tito struck some blows to her own face and sides, she did not feel them.  
  
Blood spurted under her balled fist as there was finally a sickening crack from Tito’s nose.  
  
Large hands came down on Rey’s shoulder from behind, and she snarled at the force pulling her away. It was one- no, two- of her teachers, yanking her backwards from the fight. Struggling to get free, Rey shrieked into oblivion, kicking her legs as tears streamed down her face.  
  
Hands bloodied, hair sticking to her neck with sweat, and covered in dirt and rainwater.  
  
Tito never bothered her after that.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
If Ben Solo had looked menacing before, it all but vanished in the moment he turned to Rey in shock, looking almost dumb with his mouth hanging aghast. The first thing she noticed was his ears turning slightly pink, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. The second thing she noticed was how all of this happened in only a moment- a brief flash of shock before his jaw set, working to hide it as a politician would.  
  
Then, those eyes.  
  
Rey finally met his stare at first, trying hard not to fidget. Yet as the moment stretched on, and those dark eyes did not look away as she assumed they would, she turned to Leia and cleared her throat uncomfortably.  
  
“I’m sorry for interrupting-”  
  
Leia all but waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss the awkwardness, already smiling warmly at the agent she was familiar with. Before Rey knew what was happening, Leia Organa was embracing her, such an intimate form of greeting she hardly knew anything of. In fact, Rey couldn’t remember the last time she hugged or had been hugged by anyone.  
  
_Except for almost exactly a year ago, when Finn pulled her out of the warehouse, she had been sobbing and in shock- ___  
  
“Rey, it’s lovely to see you again,” Leia gave one of her infamous smiles, making her blink and hastily push the memory back down, reinforcing the mental safe she kept all traces of that night locked away in. Guilt lingered as she looked down at the powerhouse of a woman, somehow still standing tall after everything, inevitably thinking of Han. “I swear, you get more beautiful each time I see you.”  
  
Ben Solo observed the gentle display of affection his mother granted to this stranger, face blank and unreadable as he lurked behind the two. Rey couldn’t ignore his imposing presence, and she was hyper aware of his movements and her own, sensing immediately when he made even the smallest shifting of weight between his legs. Making the mistake to spare a quick glance towards him, she only found his eyes had never left her.  
  
“I wish I could stay longer but I’m afraid I must meet with your boss and discuss some business,” Leia winked, her hands squeezing Rey’s shoulders fiercely. “I would love to catch up with you sometime, perhaps some lunch when Mr. Dameron has his shift watching over my son?”  
  
Rey knew lunch wouldn’t happen- it never did with Leia’s busy schedule- but she nodded regardless at the polite invitation. “You know where to find me.”  
  
Before leaving Leia shot a stormy look to her son, the only time he looked away from Rey to meet his mother’s eyes. “We’ll speak later.” The look she gave him was one that could only possibly be matched by her own child, an irony not lost to the pair.  
  
Once she was gone, things were painfully silent as the two of them stood in the lounge a distance apart. Although Rey was slightly taller than the average woman, Ben Solo easily towered over her. The tension in the room was palpable, and for the first time Rey was able to focus on him only.  
  
Black slacks, a dark button up shirt, thick hair growing past his sharp jaw. Even though his nose was long and narrow, with cheekbones cut high, his harsher features were softened by those round lips and eyes- eyes that seemed to have experienced lifetimes beyond his age. She decided that he looked odd, but somehow it worked. Neither spoke while waiting for the other to speak first. Eventually, it was Ben that broke.  
  
“Rey?” He said her name carefully in that low baritone, slowly, as if speaking it out loud was a test. It was stated as a question, and she knew he expected her to finish the introduction. When she didn’t, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Do you have a last name?”  
  
It was a question Rey didn’t want to answer, because she knew it would lead to more questions. The way he said her name made her stomach feel a certain way, one she didn’t quite know how to describe or understand. Instead of answering him, she changed the subject completely. “There should be a bag here from the syndicate, do you know where it is?”  
  
There his ears go turning pink again, and he nods before running a large hand through those raven locks. Ben looked at her still with a furrowed brow as he gestured to another duffle by the coffee table by the couch. Rey catches herself staring for a moment, in disbelief at how such a small awkward gesture could remind her so much of Han. It made it much more difficult to lock away those memories, and just the smallest things about him made her whole fortress begin to crumble.  
  
Ben watched in silence as Rey turned away from him to stride across the lounge, unzipping the bag and sorting through some alarms and security systems before finding what she needed. Quicker than both knew possible, Rey moved to stand in front of him, feeling even smaller when she had to crane her neck to meet his gaze.  
  
“Give me your hand,” Rey muttered, moving to grab his arm when he hesitated. Ben was surprised but didn’t shy away, and simply observed her with that damned indecipherable look as she fastening what looked like an expensive watch onto his wrist. Rey worked the metal clasp and tried hard not to focus on his long fingers brushing against hers.  
  
“I didn’t mean to offend you before.” He said carefully, and Rey knew to avoid looking up into his eyes as she adjusted the watch.  
  
“It’s quite alright,” She said quietly. “I’ve been compared to far worse things than babysitters. It’s almost a compliment.”  
  
There was a pregnant pause between the two, and it took Ben a few moments before speaking again. “I’m just surprised…” He spoke like a politician would, words smooth and calculated now. “I wasn’t expecting-”  
  
“-A woman?”  
  
“No, of course not,” Ben replied quickly. “It’s just that not many agents know my mother personally.” It was then that Rey realized that the unreadable and seemingly blank expression of his was curiosity.  
  
It was clear Ben Solo had no idea who she was, and that her involvement in the case protecting his father a year ago was never mentioned to him. Rey remembered Luke’s words about how he distanced himself from his family, and wondered what else she didn’t know about the Organa-Solo line. Which secrets were kept from who, and how many. Watching him now made her wonder if she had known Han at all, let alone been close to the man she thought she knew.  
  
Rey knew she had the option right then and there to tell him the truth, and to explain how she knew his father and subsequently his mother. Yet the moment hung in the air and she consciously chose to let it pass. Once more Rey found herself avoiding conversation, trying to ignore any topics that could get personal.  
  
“This is a beacon for your location at all times. There’s a panic button on the side here,” She explained. “So if anything happens, you press it. Even if I’m in the apartment, downstairs, or miles away when Poe is with you, I’ll get a signal and find you.” Rey finally looked up from his massive hands, swallowing as she realized how their noses were merely inches apart, the expanse of his chest nearly swallowing her form whole. His gaze still held that same curiosity- shining in the dim light as he watched her. “So…” Her hands fumbled a bit as she turned his wrist over, pressing the panic button to demonstrate.  
  
Right away, the thin black band around Rey’s wrist began beeping furiously with a hardly noticeable red light blinking on and off. To a passerby, it would seem like a common alarm watch.  
  
“How will you know where I am?”  
  
She tapped her temple in response to his question, turning her head slightly for him to see the tiny metal bulb resting in the shell of her ear.  
  
“The watch is wired back to headquarters, so when you press the button, your beacon goes back to them. Then they reach back to me with your exact location, and I will get to where you are.”  
  
This didn’t seem to quell his unease. “But what if you’re in trouble?”  
  
“I take care of myself.” Was all Rey said, echoing the words he had spoken to his mother only moments ago. Ben was so silent as he inspected the watch, it was only then that Rey realized his hand was still resting in her open palms. Quickly moving to pull her hands away, Rey was shocked she had not noticed before. His hand had been warm- soft, and the feeling had been so foreign and welcoming she had held on without thinking.  
  
Rey backed away, avoiding his eyes once more as she started towards the duffle bag on the coffee table. It was an immediate relief to be turned away from him, as if her back could provide a strong enough protection from the feeling of his enduring stare.  
  
As she fiddled with an alarm system at the coffee table, Ben slowly made his way back towards her. It was nearing sunset, and the sky was beginning to darken through the large windows of the lounge. They had quite the view of Coruscant, although partially blocked by some taller buildings the buzz of the city glimmered with lights. She could hear his soft but heavy footfalls coming near, but he paused behind her.  
  
Rey tried to keep her hands from shaking as she adjusted the settings on the piece of tech, pretending she had not heard his approach. It both relieved and saddened her to hear him quietly turn around and walk away.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but I am obsessed/ love the trope of Rey getting into schoolyard fights as a child. I couldn't resist it!! Anywho, I hope this chapter is satisfying as it took many drafts to get it to the right place. I know this chapter is short but things will get fun real fast. Thank you guys for reading :)


	4. Ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT!  
> Hi everyone! Just wanted to add before you read on, this chapter gets a little graphic. If you don't feel comfortable with combat/violence, then please scroll to the bottom and I will give you bite sized description of what happens during the chapter. I avoid long descriptions/ details of the violence for the reason that it can be uncomfortable for many, but in this fic it will be inevitable at times since it is an adventure/action story and these actions must be described for the plot. Anyways, read on if you feel comfortable, if you are worried then scroll to the bottom and check out the description first to see if it is something you are OK with and read after!

  


# Sweetest Kill

  
  
The first week passed by excruciatingly slow, and the second week was not much better. The leads Rose had found turned up nothing, and the First Order was nearly impossible to track. The underground criminals they had suspected to be Ben’s mercenary had turned up clean, and what was supposed to be a quick case was turning into something more complicated.  
By week three the quiet game Rey and Ben had been playing was beginning to get more difficult. Rey kept to the confines of her room, avoiding any interaction with Ben at all costs. They had not spoken since the day they met, or at least, Rey has hardly spoke to anyone since the day they met.  
  
She hid away in her room, only passing through the rest of the suite quickly and silently when necessary to avoid him. Observing him from a distance, Rey became quite acquainted with the back of his head. During the first week all Rey could do was notice all of the little details about him that reminded her of Han. Sometimes the resemblance could be so difficult she would slip back into those memories, the ones she had worked so hard to maintain. Although by the second week, Rey began to notice how different Ben Solo was from his father. Little things about him that undoubtedly made him something else.  
  
Rey slowly began to recognize the hunch in his back when he was working on his laptop, or his relaxed posture when spread out and reading a book. She could tell where he was in the suite from the sound of his footsteps, whether or not he was tired by how he did or didn’t drag his feet. On occasion Rey would listen to him making a phone call to his campaign manager, and discuss scheduling given the situation. Ben seemed comfortable taking up space, and spending time in the lounge. Some days if she had not known better, Rey would have thought he was purposefully trying to bait her into talking to him. However, he would never approach or speak to her when she’d slink by in one of her rare sightings, but would simply watch her with those dark eyes.  
  
Miraculously, the stoic politician seemed to take a liking to Poe, who was as charming and friendly as ever. The first day they met had turned into an immediate companionship. It seemed Poe could sense what Rey was doing even when he wasn’t there, and worked to overcompensate for his fellow hermetic agent. Poe would bustle in to switch shifts, and he’d lighten the mood by bringing a six pack of beer. The two men would watch television or play cards, often times to occupied to notice Rey sneak out. Those nights were her turn to follow up on a new lead, keeping to the shadows and prowling the Coruscant streets in the same way she did when she was younger.  
  
Those nights, usually every few days, were Rey’s favorite.  
  
Eventually Rose had turned up a new lead that seemed promising, and Rey was happy to pursue and escape Kanata’s for the night. She waited in her room until she heard the tell-tale sign of the door opening at seven and Poe’s enthusiastic greeting, followed by the sound of the men chatting in the lounge about the campaign. Being as silent as possible, Rey left her room to sneak through the hall and lounge before eventually slipping out of the door.  
  
Being out of the apartment felt wonderful, and Rey did not hesitate to move swiftly down the hallway to the Hotel’s elevators. Had she stopped a moment outside their door she would have heard Poe’s muffled voice say sympathetically from inside the suite, “It isn’t you, she’s just… been through a lot.”  
  
The night air was crisp, and once outside Rey kept to the corners and shadows as she made her way out of Takodana Village. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a sweatshirt that made her appear like an average woman, and not at all someone with a gun tucked safely in her tall boots. The pair of spectacles perched on her nose were fake, but they had a camera installed so that headquarters could see her surroundings as well as whatever the lead revealed. Adjusting her ear piece which appeared as standard headphones to any passerby, Rey set up her connection with headquarters. After a few moments her signal was established, and Rose’s voice was haughty once it reached her.  
  
“Hello Miss-I-don’t-call-my-friends-for-weeks-at-a-time.”  
  
Rey couldn’t remember the last time she smiled, but Rose could always get one out of her. “Okay, so how much groveling will it take this time?”  
  
Rose sniffed. “I believe pancakes will suffice.”  
  
“Next time I get a chance to escape that hotel we’ll get breakfast, I swear.”  
  
This seemed to appease Rose, and her sass was subdued when she spoke again. “So what’s it like? Is he really as tall as he looks on the news?”  
  
“Be my eyes, will you?” Rey ignored her question and hoped it was a big enough hint for Rose to get. She could almost imagine Rose rolling her eyes from behind her screen at headquarters.  
  
“You’re gonna turn left three blocks head.”  
  
The conversation grew short as Rose continued to lead Rey through Coruscant, heading towards the South side of the city. Soon the lively streets of Takodana dulled as she entered a more residential area, quiet and run down. There were a few people walking dogs, some cars waiting outside of apartments to pick up dates or friends.  
  
“Get me some roof access,” Rey murmured as she passed by a group of rowdy college students heading towards center city, likely to the bars and clubs. “There’s too many civilians.”  
“An alleyway is coming up to your right with a fire escape. We’re getting close, the apartment is a few blocks away.”  
  
Rey slipped into the shadows, silent as she mounted the fire escape attached to the side of the brownstone apartment. Inside she could hear a couple fighting, the sound of someone watching television, a woman feeding her cat. A quiet world, something so alien and unknown to her. The lover’s spat was over something frivolous, the television was playing an old rerun of a movie before her time. It was mundane and peaceful. She felt something familiar creep up her spine, a feeling that only comes around once in a while.  
  
Longing.  
  
As soon as the moment came, Rey pushed it out as she finally mounted the roof. This area of Coruscant was so dense with apartments that they were all but crammed next to each other with hardly any space in between. Striding forward with the grace of a cat, she jumped from rooftop to rooftop, feeling the thrill of suspension with each leap.  
  
“Show off,” Rose muttered. “This is it, second floor. The closest window is going to be from the back of the building.”  
  
Rey slid off the roof of the brownstone and scaled down the side of the building, landing on the ledge beneath the window. She inched her way closer to the glass, perched there in silence for some time to check the apartment was empty. When absolutely sure, she had no trouble picking the lock of the window and opening it, twisting her body to slip inside without a sound.  
  
Her feet landed on the linoleum floor of a small kitchen, dishes left abandoned in the sink and a greasy pan with food remains left on the stove. A small table was propped against the wall with a single chair. As she moved through the apartment, she inspected different parts of the tiny living room and bathroom. It was definitely lived in, the carpet filled with stains and signs of mold speckling the ceilings. A pair of shoes left by the door, toiletries in the bathroom.  
  
“Someone is still living here,” Rose murmured in her ear. Moving out of the living room, she headed towards the closed door that she presumed was the bedroom. The door opened with a creak, revealing an unmade twin bed and a closet, dimly lit from an old yellow lamp. A large desk was against the wall opposite of the bed, cluttered with papers. Rey felt her heart skip a beat when her eyes zoned in on the large map there- scribbled with markings and notes. It was a map of Coruscant- the entire city with a scattering of red marks at select locations. Rey couldn’t tell where or what they were just from looking- but her heart skipped a beat when she saw a small piece of paper pinned to the wall above.  
  
A list of addresses, all unfamiliar but one.  
  
It was impossible, and yet, there it was. Rey’s apartment was listed last amongst several, sprawled in the attacker’s sloppy handwriting. It certainly wasn’t the first time another mercenary had been hunting her, nor the last. But it was the first time any mercenary had found access to her private apartment, and had somehow figured out that her fabricated public identity, Kira, was the same as her true identity, Rey.  
  
Technically, Rey did not exist.  
  
Rey did not know the last name she was born into. Her birth records and any record of her birth parents were lost into the oblivion of the orphanage system. She adopted the last name Nima in her teen years in Jakku, but would be difficult to navigate as an adult with her lengthy record. When entering the Syndicate Luke provided her with a cover to operate in the public world: Kira Johnson. A young woman from London, living in America with a green card and no criminal record. Kira Johnson rented an apartment, and worked as a journalist at the newspaper company the Syndicate disguised itself as. To the outside world, she was an average city dweller.  
  
There was no way any mercenary would be after the fake identity of Kira Johnson, because Kira Johnson had no enemies of any kind. She was merely a false image. Anyone who had potentially been an enemy of Rey’s had bit the dust long before they had the chance to track her and find her apartment. When on missions she always took out any potential threats, leaving no survivors in her wake.  
  
Except once.  
  
The only threat she had not been able to eliminate with certainty was the First Order. The only enemy who lived to remember her face, her name, were the people who kidnapped and killed Han Solo.  
  
Rey suddenly felt the need to throw up, but the ill feeling churning in her stomach was overpowered by her shock when the sound of the apartment door opening came from outside the bedroom. Rose had been speaking to her urgently through the headset, but Rey could hardly hear anything but the sound of unassuming footsteps from outside, the sound of shoes being taken off.  
  
The only escape was either the apartment door or the window in the kitchen, both of which led to the inevitable. Grabbing the map and as many papers as she could, she folded them and shoved them under her sweatshirt. Slowly bending down to pull her gun out from inside her boot, Rey took soundless steps towards the door with her weapon ready. Moving out of the bedroom, she stepped out into the shared kitchen and living room to see the back of a woman turned away from her.  
  
Her figure was willowy as she peered inside her fridge, the clanking of bottles sounding as she grabbed herself a beer. Rey didn’t need to see her face to recognize the thin and elegant form, someone who could have been a dancer in another life. Of course it was her, but somehow it only posed more questions. Rey stood there with her gun poised point blank and waited for the woman to finally turn around and face her. When she did, Rey saw that eerie smile that still made her blood run cold after all these years.  
  
“I didn’t know Skywalker would send his most precious.”  
  
“What’s your play, Bazine?” Rey ignored her teasing. “What does Kanjiklub want with Kylo Ren? Is Kloda behind all this?”  
  
Bazine Netal sighed, grinning playfully as she took a sip of her beer, not at all bothered by the loaded gun pointed at her head. “Don’t you remember? You were there. Skywalker and his little minions busted Kanjiklub years ago. I don’t work for Kloda anymore.”  
  
“Who do you work for, then?”  
  
Bazine took a few steps closer, hips swaying as she walked. Rey should have known to move away, but she stood strong instead, narrowing her eyes as Bazine came nearly inches away from the barrel of her gun.  
  
“I don’t take sides,” She said. “Or at least I don’t pretend to.”  
  
Rey knew it was a jab at her, but kept on. “Then who hired you?” She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it out loud.  
  
Bazine shrugged, and it would have appeared an innocent and naive gesture had it not been for her malicious eyes. “Does it matter?” She asked. “There was a price on his head, and I wanted the money.” Rey grimaced, hating how the whites of her teeth flashed at her next words. “Don’t look so offended. I may kill for money but at least I don’t take orders from Skywalker.” ” Bazine sneered, her beautiful face contorting into something ugly.  
  
“And killing for the First Order is somehow better?” Rey’s knuckles were turning white as she gripped her gun.  
  
“You know, it’s a shame Ren put up such a good fight, but the price on your head is much higher. I don’t know what you did to piss them off, but bringing them your body would make me a pretty penny.” Bazine looked thoughtful as she took a final sip of beer before placing it on the table beside her. “I always hoped I’d get another chance to kill you.”  
  
Rey pulled the trigger but the skilled mercenary was fast, and it merely grazed her arm as the two made contact. Knocking the gun from her hand, Bazine slammed Rey into the wall, the force of it making her see stars. Grabbing the glasses perched on her nose, Bazine dropped them on the carpet before crunching them under the heel of her boot. “No tourists,” She said as she landed blows to Rey’s sides in the moment of weakness. It only took a minute for Rey to punch back and blink through the initial pain, yet it hardly subsided when she managed to get some hits in.  
  
The two women were equals in combat, both possessing the speed and agility most of their male counterparts lacked. But while Bazine was resourceful and fought dirty, Rey had the one thing no one could match: the ruthless instinct to survive.  
  
As they spared, Bazine laughed humorlessly. “You hide away in Skywalker’s castle as if you're above us all, something that makes you different than us,” Grabbing her abandoned beer and smashing it against the edge of the table, Bazine grasped the broken bottle in her hand.  
  
Rey gauged whether or not it would be easier to get out through the door or window, which hardly seemed to matter considering Bazine stood in her path holding the broken bottle like a child holding a new toy. Her gun had been flung a few feet behind Bazine towards the fridge, and Rey almost felt primal as she lunged forward in a desperate attempt to snatch it.  
  
Yet the distance was too far, and Rey let out a yelp when Bazine’s free hand clawed into one of the three buns on her head. Dragging her by the hair, she slammed Rey down onto the table by the neck, nearly breaking the piece of furniture in half. Bazine slashed at Rey with the bottle, catching by her ribs. The tank top under her sweatshirt felt wet with blood, and as Bazine grasped her throat Rey considered that she may not make it out alive this time.  
  
Bazine’s fingers tightened mercilessly, and Rey’s vision slowly began to blur as she tried to grasp desperately at her arms or shoulders to escape.  
  
“You think we’re so different, you and I…” She could hear the smile in her voice as Bazine spoke, and Rey’s vision was now turning black as she choked for oxygen. “Skywalker keeps you in a cage, makes you believe what you do is noble…”  
  
Rey tried to shriek when she felt the bottle plunge deep into her shoulder, the pain shocking her whole body as Bazine’s hand twisted with a cruel stroke.  
  
“But we’re the same, you know,” Bazine’s voice felt closer now, warm breath on her cheek. “You're a monster, just like me. And one day you’ll have to live with that…”  
  
Rey’s entire body screamed, warning her to _get up get up get up. _There was a warm, drowsy feeling numbing her now, the pain becoming so intense it began to feel like a dull pounding lulling her to sleep. Yet that instinct, primal and vicious, still burned in her core as Rey’s hand grabbed the bottle Bazine left lodged in her shoulder and yanked it out, slashing deep at the wrists around her neck.__  
  
Gasping for air, Rey slid off the table to the floor when Bazine snarled and pulled away. The chair got knocked over in the process, clattering to the ground in the brief moment of disorder. Her vision felt fuzzy, and she couldn’t ignore the feeling of blood dripping down her arms and stomach from under her sweatshirt, the papers tucked there crinkling when she moved. Dragging herself across the kitchen, Rey’s need for survival won out when she reached her gun before Bazine had the chance to jump on her back.  
  
Rey fired off a single shot when she turned around, hardly able to focus with the pain pulsing through her limbs. Bazine’s body landed on the floor with a dull thud, and it took Rey a moment to realize she was still alive. The silence after the bang of her gun was deafening, making the air feel thick. Bazine’s eyes stared straight through her as they both lay sprawled on the floor, empty now with the bullet lodged into her forehead. Rey stared back, speaking as if the woman before her could somehow still hear.  
  
“You’re wrong,” Rey said, unsure if she was trying to convince the body or herself. “I’m nothing like you.”  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Rey hardly remembered how she managed to get back to Kanata’s, but somehow, her survival instinct dragged her broken body back through the city in a final burst of adrenaline. She had abandoned the apartment, knowing it was only a matter of time before neighbors called the police about the sound of a gunshot.  
  
The pain throbbing through her body was so strong she could no longer tell where it was coming from exactly, it left shock waves through her core. Her sweatshirt, once grey, was now stained a dark brown from blood, her pants no better. Most were asleep by now, and even Maz was absent from the main desk. The elevator ride to the seventh floor felt hazy, and her vision began to blur as she unlocked the door and stumbled inside.  
  
The boys were still awake and in the lounge, having a seemingly deep discussion about an old movie franchise. Rey had to lean against the wall to walk, trying to move faster and ignore everything she was feeling. Her legs had gone numb when she eventually made it to the lounge and pushed herself off the wall.  
  
“Rey, I didn’t know what you’d want so I ordered you pad thai-” Poe hadn’t turned around from his spot on the couch to see her just yet, still occupied with the various greasy takeout containers on the coffee table.  
  
Ben looked to her the moment she walked in, eyes widening in shock.  
  
“Bazine...” Rey knew she heard her voice, gruff with exhaustion, but the words hadn’t felt like they left her mouth. Poe, having finally turned around at Ben’s panic, now looked stricken as he scrambled from the couch.  
  
“Get to headquarters…Rose,” Wincing as she pulled the map and papers from inside her sweatshirt, the map was now splattered with blood. Rey’s hand shook as she held them out.  
Poe paused for a moment, until Rey said harshly. “Go, now.” Without hesitation, Poe grabbed the maps and lists and was out the door in seconds.  
  
It took Rey no time to stumble forward, attempting to move towards the kitchen where the first aid kit was. Her whole body screamed and begged for her to stop, but she kept trying despite her knees buckling beneath her. Rey hardly realized she had collapsed on the carpet before a pair of large hands were around her waist, pulling her up from the floor.  
  
“I don’t need help,” Rey slurred, trying to use the rest of her strength to pull away from Ben Solo. Yet, as she tried to walk again her legs failed her.  
  
“You’re remarkably stubborn for someone who’s lost this much blood,” His voice was in her ear, and she grumbled as his arm wrapped around her waist to help her to the couch. She succumbed to the feeling of his massive chest pressed against her back, warm and enveloping. As soon as he got her sitting in the couch he had disappeared into the kitchen, and Rey immediately missed the warmth. The tips of her fingers were tingling, and she was beginning to shiver with shock. When Ben returned with the Syndicate aid kit, he pulled the coffee table closer to the couch, taking a seat there with his knees spread open to contain hers. Even when sitting, he still dwarfed her.  
  
“You need to tell me where you’re bleeding,” His voice was calm and composed, and Rey watched as his huge hands pulled out small bottles and bandages from the kit. When he seemed to find exactly what he needed, Ben looked up to her and she felt her vision get blurry. Had she been in a more aware state, Rey may have noticed the fear in his darkened eyes.  
  
“Somewhere on the left,” Her tongue felt heavy and slow. “She got me… with a bottle,” Rey felt herself sinking into the couch, and could hardly process Ben swiftly and expertly cutting open her sweatshirt with a pair of medical scissors, pulling the material apart along the neck and sleeves to avoid straining her arms. As he pulled the material away, she saw it was now completely darkened with blood, enough to rub off on his hands.  
  
Rey worked to tilt her head down to peer at her body, now in just a tank top. There were some slashes on her ribs, not deep, but bleeding all the same. Then her eyes caught on it- the place where all the pain was coming from, a deep wound inches away from her heart on her shoulder. Something- a piece of the bottle Bazine had swiped her with, was lodged inside.  
  
Ben stared at it for a moment, his jaw visibly clenching. His hands moved to inspect it with such a tenderness Rey had never felt before, making her shudder from the feeling. Her skin was clammy with sweat now, and she couldn’t help but focus on his fingers on her skin to ignore the ache rocking her core. When he touched the edge of the wound Rey let out a strangled cry, involuntary at the new and unexpected kind of pain.  
  
“It’s in there,” Ben said quietly. “I have to make a cut.”  
  
“Do it,” Rey said desperately, trying to blink away the white splotches from her vision. “Just do it.”  
  
Ben had a knife ready in his palm, inching closer to her. Rey turned her head away and shut her eyes, clenching her teeth as she prepared for the inevitable. His knees brushed against her thighs as he leaned into her.  
  
“Focus on me...” Ben’s voice felt closer to her now, his breath warm and sweet near her throat. “I want you to think of somewhere else,” His fingers returned to brace her shoulder, holding her still yet remaining surprisingly gentle. “Are you thinking of another place?”  
  
Rey felt the blade dig into her skin and her breath hitched when she replied, “Yes.” She hardly realized her hands had reached up to grasp his shoulders, but Ben hardly seemed phased. His hands were steady and confident, as if he’s done this before, but it didn’t stop Rey from holding him in a death grip.  
  
“What are you thinking of?” His voice was smooth and so deep, and Rey tried to empty out her head and cling to it as she felt the blade move.  
  
“An ocean,” She whispered, her voice sounding restrained.  
  
“Why’s that?” Rey knew he was simply distracting her, but it worked when he hit a spot that was especially sensitive.  
  
“Because I’ve never seen the ocean,” She gasped, taking a moment to process that he was no longer cutting into her. Slowly she opened her eyes to turn to him, her hands still gripping his broad shoulders. He looked at her with that same intense look, curiosity, but this time it was unmistakably soft. Rey could not figure out how that unwavering gaze made her feel, and the haze from blood loss was not helping. She watched his lips moving but only heard what he said a moment later.  
  
“I’m going to take it out,” He murmured, still holding her gaze. “I want you to count to ten.”  
  
Rey blinked, the image of him beginning to get more blurry. His eyes became fuzzy brown orbs, his hair a dark spot, yet his hands remained an anchor bracing her shoulder. She began counting, trying to mentally prepare herself for what she’d felt when ten finally came.  
  
“One, two, three, four-”  
  
Ben had yanked it out at five.  
  
The long, bloody piece of glass in his hand was the last thing Rey saw before blacking out.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER DESCRIPTION: **Rey checks out a new lead, and faces Ben's mercenary who is Bazine Netal. They brawl, and Rey is struggles to get the upper hand. Bazine tries strangling her and stabs Rey with a broken bottle in the process. However Rey manages to shoot Bazine in the head and escape in the end. Afterwards, when Rey gets back to Kanata's Ben must take a piece of broken glass out of the wound Bazine gave her, and he has to make an incision to do so. He talks her through it, and Rey admits she's never seen the ocean. The descriptions of the incision/ the wound are very minimal, and it is more filled with descriptions of what Rey is feeling and the interaction between the two.**
> 
> Anyways! This chapter is a monster but I really love it, and the dialogue was really fun to write. No better icebreaker than a near fatal wound am i right?? Let me know what you guys think!


	5. Bare

  


#  Sweetest Kill 

  
  
Being run over by a truck would have been peachy compared to how Rey felt when she woke up.  
  
Everything felt distant for a few moments, blurred and muffled when her eyes managed to crack open. The sound of footsteps and voices floated in the air, buzzing around her head like a pest. There was still pain- but it was a different kind. Less urgent, more like a dull pounding in her bones. Her eyes had yet to focus, but Poe’s familiar voice felt close.  
  
“Drink this,” He said, and Rey suddenly felt the sensation of cool glass against her skin It was her fingers- they were moving now, managing to grasp whatever drink he had placed in her hand. She couldn’t quite tell where her hand was yet because the rest of her body felt so far away- but instinct had her moving the glass to where she remembered her mouth to be, and soon she was sloppily gulping down the bitter liquid.  
  
Rey let out a string of curses when she was slammed back into her body, her vision finally clear. A bright, jarring light was filtering in through the massive windows of the lounge, and she was still on the couch. It all came back to her: the lead, Bazine, and…  
  
“Ben,” Her voice was hoarse and cracked, sitting up despite her limbs protesting.  
  
“Easy, tiger.” Poe’s assuring hands were grasping her forearms, pushing her to lay down again. Sitting in the chair opposite her, he smiled as she inevitably struggled against him. “Ben is fine.”  
  
“What did you give me?” Rey couldn’t get the unpleasant taste of the drink off her tongue.  
  
“Expresso. With a shot of whiskey.”  
  
“How long was I out?”  
  
“Two days.”  
  
“Where’s Ben?”  
  
“He’s here.” Poe said, an amused look in his eyes with what he said next. “He’ll be glad to know you’re awake.”  
  
The papers she had stolen from Bazine’s apartment were cluttered on the coffee table, the map rolled out with a spattering of dried blood stains. The first aid kit was spread out haphazardly, bottles and bandages scattered across the table. Rey was still in her clothes from nights before, but the couch had been made into a makeshift bed for her, pillows propped under her head at one end and a blanket draped over her legs. Her wound had been bandaged at some point- by who she couldn’t tell- but if she knew one thing for sure it was that Poe was much too sloppy for such neatly taped gauze.  
  
Poe turned towards the kitchen and hollered unceremoniously, “Sleeping beauty is awake!” There was a clatter coming from the other room, and the sound of heavy footfalls. It only took a moment for the hulking form of none other than Ben Solo to emerge from the kitchen. He advanced quickly with long strides that faltered when he came closer.  
  
“Rey,” Despite his face was stoic, his eyes were wide with relief.  
  
“Hi,” Rey croaked, feeling awkward peering up at him from the couch.  
  
Ben stood there, seeming nervous before shoving his hands in his pockets. It looked like he was about to speak again before Rey heard Finn’s familiar voice shouting from the kitchen, “Hey peanut!” Her best friend bustled out of the doorway, two plates held in his hands as he came to sit in the lounge, handing one of the plates to Poe. “Ben made breakfast, You hungry?” Finn asked, mouth stuffed with what appeared to be eggs and sausage.  
  
Rey looked to Ben in surprise, and before she could even confirm she was starving he told her in his deep baritone, “I’ll get it,” quickly pacing back to where he had just come moments before.  
  
Poe watched them, amused by something the two clearly knew nothing about.  
  
Ben reappeared with a plate in his hand piled high with food, and he carefully placed it down on the coffee table in front of her before quickly backing away to sit in an armchair to her right. “I didn’t know what you’d like so-” Ben gestured to the plate before running a hand through his hair. “It’s everything we had…”  
  
“It looks great,” Rey’s mouth watered as she looked at the food before looking back up to him in earnest. “Thank you, Ben.” He nodded, saying nothing. Had Rey not been consumed by her tenacious appetite, she would noticed his ears flushing pink.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
“Bazine Netal?” Finn asked for the fifth time, as if he couldn’t believe it.  
  
“No, the other Bazine.” Rey rolled her eyes.  
  
Their casual breakfast had turned into a business meeting after they had finished eating, which mostly consisted of catching Rey up on the information she had missed in a mere two days. Housekeeping had gotten to Bazine’s apartment after Rey had escaped, and naturally, did their jobs thoroughly before the police came.  
  
Finn frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Netal was hardly been active since Kanjiklub got busted for smuggling drugs into the city three years ago… She fell off the grid after that, unless she changed allegiances....”  
  
“Guavian Death Gang?” Poe suggested, shrugging.  
  
“It’s the First Order.” Rey said flatly. “I got her verbal confirmation.”  
  
“It’s not her style to have allegiances with terrorists.” Finn said, shrugging as he began digging into his second omelette.  
  
“Bazine never had allegiances,” Rey muttered. “She had allegiance to whoever paid her the most money.”  
  
“Hey, your dead body is worth the most money,” Poe elbowed Ben playfully. “It’s almost a compliment if you think about it.” Ben paled in response, suddenly very focused on his third cup of coffee.  
  
“Well, Netal did do some damage. Rose and I were up all night, and this is what we got from her list.” Finn said, pointing to a stack of papers with photographs and profiles. Finn theatrically held up the images of everyday civilians and their information as to demonstrate. “Gale Cardota, a lawyer. Yuri Raysho, a real estate agent. Hosnian Prime, a journalist. And you, Rey.” Finn grimaced. “Gale Cardota was shot two weeks ago, and has been in critical condition at the hospital since. Yuri Raysho has been missing for four days now, presumably dead. Hosnian Prime was going to be their next target.”  
  
Ben looked up sharply at that. “They’re targeting Rey? How is that possible with Syndicate protection?”  
  
The three agents faltered for a second, Poe and Finn looking to Rey expectantly. They waited to see if she’d tell him the truth. “I have history with the First Order.” Was all she said. History was a massive understatement, considering she took out half of their men and burned their home to the ground. The look on Ben’s face told her that he’d want a better answer, but before he could ask more questions she steered the conversation away.  
  
“A lawyer, a journalist, a real estate agent, and me. Do we have any idea how those three are connected? Because I definitely don’t know them.”  
  
“Well, there is something. There are some low income housing buildings being condemned by the city on the West side. It’s been swept under the rug by politicians, but there’s been a really messy legal battle over the eminent domain cases. We know that Cardota was working for some of the families being displaced, Raysho was trying to buy out the building, and Prime was working with Cardota to cover the story and have it go public. But we don’t know why the First Order would care about an eminent domain legal battle, let alone send a hitman after people involved.”  
  
“So that’s what the map is?”  
  
Finn nodded.  
  
“Alright, then we find Hosnian Prime and get her protection, and we follow up on the locations and scope out the eminent domain case. Bazine was a private hire, and if the First Order wants someone dead they’ll just send someone else to do it.”  
  
Ben put his coffee cup down, visibly worried as he hunched over the map at the table. “I have a press conference scheduled next week, for the campaign… I can cancel again if I have to, but at some point I’ll have to make a public appearance.” The agents considered this, knowing the risk of having him somewhere public and crowded. Ben seemed to understand what they were thinking, and added fiercely. “I want to show them they don’t scare me. I can’t keep hiding in here.”  
  
Rey didn’t like it, but she knew he was right. They had a job to do, but Ben had a job to do, too. “Don’t cancel, we’ll keep you covered out there. If we’re lucky it will take a week for the First Order to even realize Bazine is gone.”  
  
Ben looked relieved then, beginning to collect their empty plates before standing up to walk towards the kitchen. “I’ll call my manager.”  
  
Finn and Poe began gathering the map and papers, and putting on their jackets, the meeting over for now.  
  
“And you-” Finn wagged his finger at Rey. “You’re benched until that wound closes up.” Rey muttered something about how she only needed a couple days, but Finn was having none of it. “Just do us all a favor and rest for this week. You need to be ready for the press conference.” Rey knew better than to argue, but it didn’t stop her from grumbling about it. Having packed up their things, her friends headed down the hall.  
  
“Don’t worry, Ben will keep you company,” Poe winked, before slipping out the door.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Rey laid there in silence for a bit, staring at the ceiling as she listened to the muffled sounds of Ben’s phone call from the kitchen. The afternoon sun had risen high over Coruscant, and it shone through the windows casting a golden light. It warmed her, and like a petulant child Rey kicked off the thick blanket to free her legs. Avoiding him would be impossible now, this she accepted, and she waited until the characteristic sounds of his footsteps led him back into the lounge.  
  
He seemed surprised to walk in and find Finn and Poe gone, paused as if considering whether or not he should stay.  
  
“They went back to headquarters…” Rey said lamely.  
  
“Right, of course.” Ben cleared his throat. Now that they were alone Rey worked to say what she wanted to tell him.  
  
“I’m sorry for all this,” She told him, wincing as she tried to sit up. “I’m sorry that you have to get dragged into all of this-”  
  
“Stop,” Ben’s eyes flashed, and he quickly moved to her side by the couch as she propped herself up. He was fast enough to surprise her, and Rey flinched away instinctually when he leaned in close. Ben paused in caution when he saw her coil back, as if suddenly made aware by his boldness. “Let me,” He said quietly, hands lingering in the air between them, held out as if to say he came in peace. “You’re bleeding.”  
  
Ben was right, sitting up must have reopened the cuts on her ribs where Bazine slashed her, and Rey could feel her tank top getting slick with blood. She had forgotten about those- hardly felt them compared to the wound on her shoulder.  
  
Rey caught herself before saying she didn’t need his help, and swallowed her pride instead, simply nodding. Ben’s massive hands moved to slide under her the small of her back to help her lay down, she let out a soft groan when the movement stung.  
  
His hands carefully rolled her tank top up until her stomach was bare, revealing the angry red slashes at her waist. Ben began to clean the cuts and gently wipe away the blood with a wet towel. Before, Rey could only feel his hands if she concentrated through the pain. Now as she laid nearly bare, with Ben’s fingers brushing against her skin ever so slightly, she wished she had something to help her ignore the feeling. Eventually he reached for the med glue, spreading the gel across her ribs with a feather-light touch. Rey could secretly indulge in watching him as he hunched over in concentration.  
  
“I mean it,” She said tiredly. “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t be doing all this.”  
  
“It’s the least I could do,” He looked up at her incredulously, hands pausing in their work. “You shouldn’t have to put yourself in harm’s way to protect me.”  
  
“That’s the job.”  
  
“And you’re ready to die for someone you hardly know?”  
  
“I’m not ready to die,” Rey said it as if it was obvious. “That’s why I win every fight.”  
  
“And at what cost?”  
  
Rey was quiet then, lost in thought. The truth was that she had never once viewed it that way.  
  
“It’s better than the life I had before.” Rey would kick herself later that night for speaking so honestly, but something about him made talking easy in a way it never had before. She liked to think it was the shot of whiskey Poe had given her, his smooth voice, or the comforting warmth of his hands, but a deeper part of her whispered that it was something much different. It was the same part of her that tried avoiding him in the first place.  
  
“And where was that?”  
  
“Nowhere.”  
  
His lips quirked at her reluctance to give a straight answer, and that curious gaze was back. This time, Rey was swimming in it. Having finished spreading the med glue over the cuts, Ben reached for the clean gauze from the aid kit. “Did you have a choice?”  
  
“I’m not sure if choice could describe it, but yes. I had an option to say no.” Rey replied carefully. “I was... in a compromising situation. Luke offered me a chance to get out, and I took it.”  
  
“How old were you?”  
  
“Sixteen.”  
  
Bringing the package to his lips and biting down, Ben’s teeth ripped open the plastic. In the moment his face turned into something fierce, before his harsh features relaxed as he became lost in thought. Once more that startling man surfaced- the one she saw weeks ago standing off with his mother- and disappeared just as quickly. While smoothing the gauze out over her ribs, he suddenly became very quiet, and Rey tried to keep from fidgeting. In the silence it became harder to ignore, and talking helped distract her from the feeling.  
  
“And you,” Rey hoped he didn’t hear her voice waver. “Do you lead a secret double life as a doctor or something?”  
  
Ben’s brow furrowed as he taped down the gauze. “What do you mean?”  
  
“This,” Rey used her hand to gesture to the first aid kid. “Where did you learn how to do all this?”  
  
Ben cocked his to the side slightly, eyes narrowed as if he thought she was joking. “You know all students at the academy get trained for this.”  
  
Rey stared at him, feeling her world tilt sideways as it dawned on her. She blinked a few times, and couldn’t quite get the words out.  
  
“You…”  
  
“Luke didn’t tell you?” Ben seemed just as taken aback once he realized the source of her confusion. “Of course he didn’t…”  
  
He stood up abruptly, raking his hand through his hair.  
  
“Get some rest,” Ben told her. Rey wanted to find the will to tell him to stop and wait, but she was still working to wrap her head around it all. The couch felt empty without him perched there in her space. Now he was avoiding her gaze, backing away into his room without another word.  
  
His door closed with a soft click.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Sorry this took long!! The teaser trailer for episode 9 had my head spinning for days, and I'm still trying to get over it. Anyways! Some Skywalker-Solo-Organa family mystery for ya with a little inspiration drawn from 92' The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston, a forever favorite ;)


	6. Rattling Cage

  
_One year ago ___  
  
“Ah, Hand me a wrench, will you kid?”  
  
Rey’s legs dangled over the work table she was perched upon as she watched a rugged hand poke out from underneath a 1971 Datsun.  
  
“Only if you show me what’s behind that door.” Rey said, nodding towards the door across the garage, always kept locked. She watched as a glimpse of silver hair poked out near the back tires. Han Solo smirked at her, the older man amused by her bargaining. The garage in Leia Organa’s countryside mansion was massive, no doubt built with her husband in mind. The main room had an entire collection of vintage cars, all of which Rey’s retired charge work on relentlessly every day.  
  
“You and I both know you could crack that door code.”  
  
“You and I both know you will be insufferable if the alarms wake you up at three in the morning.”  
  
Han seemed to weigh the options in his mind, brow furrowed. “Fair enough.” Rey handed him the wrench triumphantly, waiting as he disappeared back underneath the car to finish what he had been working on.  
  
Rey had been living at the mansion for two months now, guarding Han Solo while Leia was overseas. A room had been made up for her in the East wing, with an old bed and desk filled with a collection of books on poetry and history she had never known before. She assumed it was a guest room that was especially decadent.  
  
It didn’t occur to her that the room had once belonged to someone.  
  
The secret door in the garage had become a fixation of Rey’s, something she grew desperate to open as she watched and talked with Han everyday when he worked on his cars. When she wasn’t reading from her newly obtained book collection, she was haggling Han about it. Had it been anyone else Han would have stubbornly shut them down at the suggestion. Yet, he was fond of the young girl sent to protect him.  
  
Eventually Han wheeled himself out from under the Datsun, wiping off his hands on an old rag.  
  
“Just once.” He said gruffly, and Rey sprang up from the table in anticipation. “I mean it kid: one time.” She nodded quickly, trying to hide her excitement as Han led her across the garage.  
  
The steel door had a coded lock, and Rey rolled her eyes when Han huddled close to it to shield her eyes from the numbers as he punched them in. She figured this was good fun, and that she had merely annoyed him enough to eventually give in to her silly requests. There was no way she could have known he had not opened that door for nearly fifteen years.  
  
When the door opened it revealed a beautiful machine, covered in dust from years of neglect. The motorcycle was pale grey, sort of retro, and she had never seen anything like it before. It made sense to her now why Han had hidden it away for himself.  
  
“What is it?” Rey asked, appearing like a child as she looked upon the shiny chrome exterior with awe and admiration.  
  
“That, kid, is the millenium falcon.”  
  
It was a more peaceful time, and Rey found it in herself to giggle at Han’s name of choice. There had not been many times in her life where she’d found herself so giddy. He would mumble gruff words when she’d crack a joke at his expense, and the agent delighted in the old man’s snarky attitude.  
  
Had she been looking at him more closely, Rey may have noticed the deep sadness in his eyes. As she circled the bike in excitement, Han looked at her as if she were another.  
  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Rey laid on the couch in silence, occasionally hearing some quiet signs of life from Ben’s room. As the hours pressed on, she considered all her options as the aching in her bones slowly subsided. The med glue sealed her wounds better than stitches would, and as the day passed by they began to scab and heal.  
  
Managing to get up and take a shower was more difficult than anticipated.  
  
Pulling a clean shirt over her head absolutely sucked.  
  
But lying to Poe the next morning was easy.  
  
Rey had nearly rushed to the door when she heard Poe bustle in, a bagel half crammed in his mouth when she all but cornered him. She already had her coat on, her gun tucked away in the pocket inside.  
  
“How are you walking already?” His voice was muffled from his mouth full of cream cheese.  
  
“I promised Rose I’d get breakfast with her,” She said, “I haven’t seen her in weeks.”  
  
“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Rey could see the concern in Poe’s eyes. “I’m sure Rose would understand if-”  
  
“-Stay with Ben while I’m gone.” Before Poe could get another word in, Rey shot out the door.  
  
When Rey reached headquarters she moved quickly through housekeeping and the security checkpoints. Getting to syndicate wasn’t the hard part, but accessing the syndicate's file records would be. Ever since an incident with a rogue agent years ago, all records of syndicate agents and information were stored on Luke’s computer after a massive security breech. Considering the files held all information about agents and cases, it was heavily guarded from not only the outside world but the agents themselves.  
  
When Luke was not present in the office, one would need voice recognition to gain access to his office without tripping the alarm. Since she did not have Luke’s voice, slipping through the paneled ceiling of the elevator to crawl through the air ducts felt like the best alternative.  
  
Crawling through the cramped space wasn’t easy, especially with the throbbing pain in her shoulder. It didn’t take long for Rey to kick through the air vent in his office and drop inside the empty room. She had possibly ten minutes before anyone realizes the elevator was tampered with and the alarms subsequently go off, putting the building on lockdown. This meant Rey gauged she had a half hour window before Luke would get here, maybe less before anyone could breach the entrance. She didn’t waste any time.  
  
Luke’s computer had everything: every syndicate secret, every case. The power of having access to this computer was unparalleled, but there was only one thing Rey wanted from it.  
  
She searched for his name in every folder, scrolling through years worth of agents on file to find nothing. Ben Solo did not exist in the Syndicate, or at least his presence was never once recorded when it was here. As she tapped and clicked through every record to find any kind of trace, Rey grew more restless and frustrated.  
  
_Where is he? ___  
  
After sitting for a few moments the alarms eventually began to sound, but Rey remained seated behind Luke’s computer. Pulling out her gun from her denim jacket, she waited in silence as her hand continued to click through the desktop. Rey could imagine the rest of the building launched into chaos at the sound, but under the code red light she was still. There was no way of telling how much time had passed, but soon the multiple steel doors barring this office from the elevator clanked open one by one.  
  
She half expected a response team of agents ready to neutralize the threat, but it seemed Luke had anticipated her presence as he stood alone in the doorway with a knowing look.  
  
“I suspected I’d find you here eventually, but not this soon.” He said.  
  
Rey said nothing, pulling the safety of her gun with a metallic click in response. She kept typing, searching through the last of the folders and still finding no answers.  
  
“You know, I can always rely on you to find weak links in the security to show me where we need improvement.” Luke took off his overcoat, hanging it on the hook by the door before slowly making his way to her. His cane tapped on the concrete floor as he took in the broken air vent. Rey peered up from the screen to give him a look, and Luke sighed, finally taking a seat in the chair across from the desk she usually sat in. Pulling a device from his coat pocket, Luke pressed a button and the alarms stopped instantly.  
  
“Why are there no files on Ben Solo?” Rey demanded fiercely.  
  
“Any files on Ben Solo that once existed have been destroyed.” Luke crossed his legs, peering at his agent in both annoyance and admiration.  
  
“Why would you destroy them?”  
  
“I didn’t. He did.”  
  
Rey sat back in the chair then, pulling herself away from the computer screen that provided no answers while gently lowering her gun in resignation. She didn’t need to ask any more questions for Luke to know she expected him to elaborate, fixing him with a hard stare.  
  
“Ben was a student at the academy years ago, and was sent here when he was fourteen... Leia and I thought it would be good to train him, although Han was never happy about it.” Luke paused, considering his next words. “Ben was a difficult child, and he never recovered from being sent away from home so young. He had a great power in him- he was an incredibly fighter, he was smart. But when he got older he became more resentful and angry, and it became harder to control. Eventually he made an escape, and destroyed all of our files and the headquarters mainframe. We almost lost everything...” Luke paused, watching Rey closely when he continued. “After that, he disappeared for ten years. No one had heard from him or seen him- he completely cut off his family. Cut off Han and Leia, nearly ruined their marriage. Things were never the same after that.”  
  
Rey was silent then, and thought of the stormy man she saw with Leia and imagined him as the angry boy Luke described. The image was easy to see- but trying to understand how that man was the same person who fixed her wounds with gentle hands was nearly impossible.  
  
“Why?” Rey asked finally. “Why would he try destroying the syndicate?”  
  
Luke sighed, his pale blue eyes weary. “Because he blames me for everything.”  
  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Poe was less than pleased when she got back to Kanata’s that night.  
  
“Rose called me during the shooter drill today, she said she hasn’t heard from you in days.”  
  
“Shooter drill?”  
  
Poe looked at her as if she had grown a second head. “Yes, the shooter drill. You know, the one this morning that kept Headquarters in lockdown for hours?”  
  
“Right.” Rey said, shrugging off her denim jacket carefully. So it seemed Luke had her stunt covered up, even to her fellow agents. It was a privilege only she had, for her actions would have gotten any other agent terminated.  
  
“Where have you been?” Poe asked, keeping his voice low.  
  
Rey ignored his question, and began to walk down the hall. “Has Hosnian Prime been found yet?”  
  
“No,” Poe said, clearly annoyed now as he followed her into the kitchen. “I haven’t really had a chance to follow those leads because I’ve been busy here covering your ass.”  
  
Rey finally turned to face her friend as they stood a distance apart.  
  
“Poe, I’m sorry.” She said softly. “It won’t happen again.”  
  
He looked at her for a few moments, as if waiting for her to explain where she had been or what had happened. When she shared nothing, Poe sighed in exasperation.  
  
“You’re lucky I trust you.” Was all he said before walking out.  
  
The sound of the suite door closing behind him was jarring against the silence that followed. Rey turned to the sink, splashing cold water on her face before resting there, elbows propped up on the metallic surface. The moment of ease brought a dull pain with it, and her body ached from a day of crawling through air ducts. She was still struggling to make sense of it all, and was so lost in thought she almost didn’t notice Ben’s presence looming in the doorway.  
  
Almost.  
  
“You were a student at the academy.” She stated out loud.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“You’ve been trained.”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Rey felt like kicking herself now, because of course he was. How else could he have survived an attack from Bazine, one of Coruscant’s most infamous mercenaries?  
  
“Why?” Rey asked, her temper flaring up after spending so much time seeking the truth only to find more questions. “Why try destroying the syndicate?”  
  
“Did Luke tell you what happened, that night?” Ben answered her question with another question, curiosity in his voice as he peered at her. “The night I burned it down, did he tell you why?”  
  
“Yes.” Rey crossed her arms in frustration.  
  
Ben came near her now, watching her carefully with a tilted head and discerning gaze. “No…”  
  
He was close enough to her now that she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes. Rey didn’t shy away from his advance.  
  
“Luke knew I hated the syndicate, that I didn’t want to spend my life fighting his battles. I didn't want to live the life he chose for me. I was just a boy in training, but he had sensed my power and feared me for it." Ben grimaced, and it twisted his face into something darker. “He sent a mercenary to kill me in my sleep. When I survived, I knew that I had to leave. I wanted to leave my mark and end the Syndicate for good...” Rey stood in shock as his eyes glazed over when lost in memory. "Years later, I had come home and made a life for myself, he claimed it had been a standard training exercise. That every student had to undergo a test and I had overreacted, but… I know what happened. It was no test.”  
  
Rey wanted to call him a liar, that Luke would never do such a thing, but the truth was that she couldn’t be sure anymore. Luke had lied to her multiple times on this case alone. Goosebumps rose on her arms at the thought, wondering what else has been a lie without her knowing. It seemed everything she thought she knew was put into the question now with Ben Solo’s abrupt arrival in her life.  
  
“And your family,” She asked suddenly. “You just left your family?”  
  
“Yes,” Ben said it like it was easy.  
  
“The people who loved you, you just left them?”  
  
“Yes,” He repeated, brow furrowing at her fixation. They were close enough to reach out and touch the other, but the air felt thick with strain. Rey looked away from him, trying to hide the hurt she felt, the hurt she could not process.  
  
“And that bothers you. Although… I don’t think it’s me or my family it has to do with.” Ben’s deep voice became softer, it always did when he spoke with her. “Rey from nowhere… you know my story but I can’t know yours….”  
  
Ben looked at her for a long moment, before turning away to open the fridge door. He shuffled through the meager assortment of food inside, pulling out some things and ignoring others. Rey watched, confused, as he moved beside her to face the counter. After situating himself with a cutting board and knife, he slowly began cutting vegetables with steady and precise hands.  
  
“What…” Rey said, perplexed. “Are you doing?”  
  
“When was the last time you ate something?” Ben asked, looking up from a tomato and fixed her with a shrewd look. As Rey paused while struggling to remember her last meal, he seemed to get the answer he already knew.  
  
Ben was right, she was starving- although much too proud to admit it.  
  
They were quiet then, and Rey watched him as he cut onions, garlic, and spinach. She quietly hoisted herself up on the counter to sit beside him as he worked, resting her head against the cabinets behind her and letting her legs dangle over the edge. Once more, she was struck with the thought of the young Ben Solo Luke described. A rattling cage, the fire starting rogue. It should repel her from him, anger her, but it didn’t. Instead, all she could be reminded of was the girl she once was. A misfit in her world as he was in his.  
  
In that moment Rey felt that familiar feeling creep back into her bones, one that only comes from time to time. A longing for something she did not understand. Eventually she began to talk, slipping into his silent invitation.  
  
“I'm from Jakku.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this took so long! A crazy life thing happened, but I hope you guys like it!


	7. Uncharted Territory

  
_13 years ago ___  
  
“Are you ready to talk today?”  
  
The counselor at the juvenile delinquent center scribbled on a notepad, looking up for a brief moment as if to check she was still in the room. Mr. Threpio was a skinny, disheveled man with gigantic glasses who lived in a constant state of stress. His job was not easy, this she knew to be true. Yet whenever she tried to cooperate it seemed her tongue got stuck in her throat, unwilling to let any words pass.  
  
Rey sat quietly on a couch against the wall, her hands tucked under her thighs. She had this very same interaction every week for almost a year now. The mandatory therapy sessions were always spent in silence, and waiting for the hour to pass felt agonizing. When she first arrived, the staff believed after some time she’d finally start talking and would begin to assimilate.  
  
They were wrong.  
  
“Why don’t we talk about the night you ran away?”  
  
Sometimes Rey wanted to speak, to sob, and to scream at the top of her lungs about how she felt. Although it seemed there was no real way to put what she was feeling to words- to describe the churning thunderous storm in her chest, the raging fire behind her eyes.  
  
“Or your time at the foster home, you can tell me about that.” He tried again. “You know cooperating will help you… it could help shorten your sentence.” Mr. Threpio said then, glancing at her over his spectacles. “I’m not going to judge you, you know. I’m here to help.”  
  
She was exhausted of being asked the same questions, especially ones she knew they had the answers to on her files. In the end it didn’t matter what she thought of it, because she couldn’t change the past or what she had done. Even though Rey felt so much, she couldn’t shake the thought that none of it mattered. That even if she did speak, he would hardly understand, and it would leave her with an even bigger hole in her chest than she already possessed.  
  
Eventually the clock landed on the one hour mark, and Rey stood up from her seat to stride to the door. Mr. Threpio sighed as she called out dryly. “See you next week.”  
  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
“Rey from Jakku,” Ben murmured thoughtfully. “It’s a miracle you made it out alive.”  
  
They had moved from the kitchen to the lounge to sit across from each other, Rey on the couch and him opposite in the armchair. This was mostly his doing, as he insisted she eat at a table (and from a plate) as opposed to eating the pasta from the pan hunched over the sink.  
  
Rey nodded as she twirled a mass of spaghetti around her fork, not standing on ceremony as she indulged her voracious appetite. Ben was deeply amused as he watched her, quite ungracefully, cram as much of the delicious food into her mouth as possible. When she finally noticed him, Rey suddenly felt abashed at her unrefined manners.  
  
Practicing quite a bit of self restraint, she swallowed hard and paused to put her fork down. She tried to think of a time when someone had cooked her a real homemade meal like this, but no such memory existed. She almost told him this- but quickly decided against it, embarrassed at the implications.  
  
“Like I said,” Rey shrugged quietly. “I was in a compromising situation, and Luke offered me a way out.”  
  
“And your family, do they know about what you do here?”  
  
Rey intuitively knew this would come up at some point once she began telling him how she got here. She knew the question would come but still felt unprepared for it.  
  
“I… I don’t know,” Rey looked away from him, eyes fixed on a particular spot of carpet. “My parents left me when I was very young… I can’t remember their faces, but I remember the car they drove away in. If they’re alive... I doubt they think of me.” These were her passing thoughts, things mulled over after years of loneliness. It was only when she voiced them out loud that she realized how honest, how brutal they truly were. “The foster system doesn’t really notice when kids go missing, and I hardly made friends in the juvenile detention center... so it was easy to leave it behind.”  
  
Ben was silent then, and Rey shifted in her seat uncomfortably. Had she spoken too much?  
  
“It wasn’t all bad,” She lied halfheartedly. “I don’t really think about it anymore-”  
  
“-I’m sorry.” He said, voice strained. “I’m so sorry, Rey…”  
  
She shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed. “It was a long time ago.” She said softly, reaching for her fork again despite having lost her appetite. She poked at the pasta noodles, pushing them around her plate.  
  
Worried that the full weight of what she had shared with Ben Solo would crush her if she thought about it too much, Rey continued to talk to avoid such confrontations. She told him how she used to sneak out of her foster home at night, slipping outside the window as she heard Unkar Plutt getting drunk downstairs. How she taught herself how to climb by scaling down the walls of the second story house, and how to be silent and leave no trace. She told him about how the wind felt in Jakku- harsh and dry, enough to crack her lips on the worst days. In the darkness of night she’d find secret places, her personal favorite being the top of an abandoned parking garage. It was ten stories, and she would climb to the very top level to lay on her back on cold concrete and look at the stars. She knew of the constellations from library books and would spend hours spotting them, seeking out any planets that were visible. Despite the bleak reality of her life, the stars always felt comforting even when she’d return back to her decrepit bedroom. A reality that her tiny, cruel world was only a small part of something grander, something large.  
  
Ben listened quietly, attentively, his stare illuminated by only the faint city lights outside the window. He had leaned forward as she spoke, resting his elbows on his knees. Talking felt good- and Rey couldn’t help but indulge in how he watched her so intently. She had a fleeting thought- a dangerous one- wondering what would happen if she climbed into his lap, straddling his hips with hers and sinking into that broad chest. Her mind wandered, painfully curious about how his skin would feel under her lips, whether or not it would flush if she bit or licked it. A small panic bubbled in her stomach, telling her _no, no, no. Not that. ___  
  
“I’m sorry,” She said suddenly, stopping her story short. “We should… Its late.”  
  
Ben watched her fidget, suddenly uncomfortable, and seemed to understand. Rey’s secret place, locked away so deep within herself, had been something he had been granted a small glimpse of. A place of uncharted territory and mystery, she had unlocked the door to let him inside for one night, and now it was time for him to leave again. His lips tipped up in a crooked smile, and he slowly stood up and moved towards her.  
  
“What are you sorry for?”  
  
“I usually don’t talk this much.”  
  
Ben chuckled then, a deep rumbling in his chest. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that.” He bent over the table to pick up her plate of demolished pasta and fork. “You can talk to me, you know. If you’d like.”  
  
Rey stared at his looming form, thought about how easy it would be to just grab onto the collar of his shirt and pull him down to her. To feel what those round lips felt like instead of watching them work as he spoke. Instead, she looked down to stare at her hands in her lap, extremely aware of how he lingered there, leaning across the table towards her.  
  
“Thank you for dinner.” She murmured gently, making the mistake of looking up to meet his darkened gaze hovering over hers. Ben’s free hand rose to cup her cheek, the soft pad of his thumb caressing the tender skin so close to her lips.  
  
“My pleasure.”  
  
Something in his thick baritone voice when he spoke those words made Rey freeze under his touch. Ben’s eyes cut right through her, under the skin as they always did, but this time there was something else present. As quickly as he had touched her, he pulled away, visibly swallowing and clenching his jaw in restraint. “Goodnight, Rey from Jakku.”  
  
Rey sat, feeling paralyzed, as she listened to Ben quietly walk into the kitchen to put her dishes away and eventually move towards his bedroom. She couldn’t help but notice how he left the door open a few inches, a small sliver of darkness beckoning her, daring her to slip inside.  
  
It was only in that moment that Rey entertained the idea that maybe, just maybe, Ben Solo was as tortured by her as she was by him. She feared trying to stand up and go to her room. Thinking of that gaze, that unmistakable yearning there, Rey knew she’d only end up at his door if she got up at all.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is the most on brand thing for Rey and Ben to both get turned on by emotional baggage no one can change my mind :-)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first ever Reylo fic, and I'm excited to finally post the first chapter after writing for so long. This idea popped into my head one day and ever since then I just had to write it and get it out of my system. I'm a sucker for spies and secret agent stories and I feel like that kind of plot translates so well into the Star wars universe.  
> This may end up getting pretty long, and I will try to update as regularly as possible. Let me know what you think :)


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